Lew Morton

@lewmorton.bsky.social

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I am a TV comedy writer. B&B Do The Universe, VEEP, Silicon Valley, Futurama, NewsRadio, SNL, others too numerous (or not that good) to mention. Currently Beavis and Butt-Head series.

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I think the way to read this is that Harris has not made a lot of friends.

Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi recently told her California congressional colleagues that if President Biden were to end his campaign, she would favor the “competitive” process of an open primary rather than an anointment of Vice President Kamala Harris as the new Democratic presidential nominee.

Pelosi Told Colleagues She Would Favor ‘Open’ Nomination Process if Biden Drops Outwww.nytimes.com The former House speaker and fellow California lawmakers were discussing the Democratic Party’s stressful state of affairs.

JUSTICE FOR BVIS

Charges against Beavis-head graffiti artist droppedwww.fox2detroit.com The Highland Park-based artist charged with six felonies for spray-painting Beavis graffiti from "Beavis and Butt-Head" across Detroit, has had his case dropped.

It isn't California's fault your children don't love you

Musk claims he will abandon California, move X and SpaceX to Texaswww.washingtonpost.com In his latest criticism of Golden State politics, Musk said on X that a law meant to protect LGBTQ children was the ‘final straw.’

I hope England puts Cole Palmer on because he looks like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

Yellow wallpaper mandatory in all homes

My take on the Biden situation: If you block everyone with a made-up user name, Bluesky will be a lot less annoying.

I just scrolled through a bunch of my old posts here, and they're fucking great

So he wasnt in the White House to help craft legislation, as I was assured by a bunch of amateur googlers and click-merchants on this very site?? But they were so self-righteous and angry!

NEW: President Biden's doctor releases memo explaining that Dr. Cannard evaluated Biden as part of his regular physical (results of which were disclosed in February) and also treats military personnel with neurological issues through the White House Medical Unit www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/u...

My wife is out of town, so I have to type my hot political takes here. And let me just say, you are in for a treat

A lot of people on here very worried that people are going to not vote because of an op-ed they read. Don't worry, whimsical op-eds generally don't depress voter turn out by more than 20-30%.

"My advice, when things are going against you, and it's just getting worse and worse, is to hang onto power as long as you can!"

I was just on a walker after hip surgery, and I could have presidented the fuck out of this place

IMO this is a straight-up ageist and ableist image, no?

The Vice-President can kill the President, because the instant the murder takes place, she becomes President, and therefore immune.

My job is merely to call balls and strikes. My ruling in this case is strike -- that guy is allowed to strike people with the bat.

I blame Ford for pardoning Nixon.

Um, it's the biggest news story in America

It's been days and eight of nine links at the top of the NYT right now are about the same thing

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Lew Morton

On his first day in prison Steve Bannon should walk up to the meanest, toughest guy on the yard and breathe on him.

Joe Biden and Paul George — two guys too old for my team to give a four year contract, but they’ve backed themselves into a corner and they have to do it

The good news is the President never has to drive a car at night

As an expert in both politics and old people, I think we’ll be okay If the next debate is at 11 AM

I just checked, and the history books are not full of people who wanted to stop being president

“My role is merely that of an umpire, calling balls and strikes and floogles, which I just made up”

The industry is rapidly evolving so that people want to be able to take items off shelves so they can buy them

Walgreens will close a “significant portion” of its 8,600 U.S. locations over the next three years as it struggles to keep up with a rapidly evolving retail pharmacy industry, the company announced Thursday.

Walgreens to shutter many stores as profits tumblewapo.st The retail pharmacy giant expects to close a “significant portion” of its 8,600 U.S. locations over the next three years.

This is not real, and it bugs me that people think it's real.

Thrilled to know we got water in the woke wars.

Reposted by

Lew Morton

Friends have asked what enriching summer plans my youngest child has. The answer is: locking herself in her bedroom and making Chappell Roan fan art.

"They can tell I'm wearing a wig."

Didn’t his wife say she couldn’t wait until “all this is over” and she can fly whatever flag she wants?

Alayna Treene of CNN notes that Alito was missing from the bench today and yesterday and that the press office hasn't responded to questions about his absence

Reposted by

Lew Morton

🚨 FREE BVIS!!! 🚨 Detroit artist BVIS has been arrested, and now faces 6 felony counts and up to 24 years in prison. I'm going 2 be doing Beavis and Butthead themed drawings in exchange for donos to his GFM! gofund.me/61c2f776 twitch.tv/karlicartoons I'M LIVE RIGHT NOW!! Tune in for more deets!

The only good thing about this basketball season is it convinced me to start watching hockey.

it's a satisfying ending to the season in the sense that the clear best team won the title; it's also a satisfying ending to the season in the sense that this season sucked, and so did the finals, and so do the champs, and so do the runners-up

FREE BVIS

The Frasier reboot doesn't run into this kind of thing

Artist behind Beavis graffiti around Detroit arrested, faces up to 24 years in prisonwww.freep.com Hazel Park resident Bryan Herrin has spent the last few years obsessively drawing the face of Beavis on surfaces all over metro Detroit.