"this would take out a Victorian child" are you sure? they fistfought in the horseshit-filled streets for chimney sweep jobs. we have an app that makes a guy deliver a wet hamburger and you can press a button on it to complain about the guy. this child cannot be harmed by our foods
Even your fancier Victorian child has survived multiple duels, unless that Big Mac is real good with a musket Little Lord Fauntleroy is coming out on top
the "brits longed for taste so much they fought wars over spice" joke discourse seems to have infected some minds to the point they don't see how this means spice was obviously *used*
the medieval peasant would enjoy the flamin hot dorito, but ultimately prefer cool ranch
Never mind the spices: I don't understand how anyone got anything done in the west/north of the world until importation of coffee and tea began. Imagine being a British mediaeval peasant having to start the day with well water or small beer before going out to milk the chickens.
one of my favorite hypotheses about history is that the enlightment came about because people started drinking caffeinated drinks rather than booze. everybody was perpetually drunk until coffee and tea became cheaper and more common.
My Gran represented essentially a live test of the "would kill a Victorian child" theory, because she grew up with eight siblings in extremely rural Ireland without electricity or running water.
She never got the hang of PCs but she could programme her games in at the bowling alley, no problem.
To be fair, it’s not like the hardships of that era turned them into super soldiers. That which does not kill you… usually leaves you permanently damaged 😕
victorian is such a weird era for those shitposts. The victorians were weird and complicated and hypocritical and modern.
If you gave the victorians the internet the only difference between them and us would be:
more coal dust
sillier fetishes
even more energetic racism
We don’t even use fillers like sawdust and plaster in our flour. Our candy isn’t made green with arsenic. It’s pretty rare for a toothless old woman selling questionable gin to be a staple of a neighborhood.
There’s a lot of weird damaging shit in the future, but our food is pretty ok.
The Victorian child’s gut biome was a wonderland of deadly chemicals, pollutants, and human shit. They would have been invincible if not for the workplace accidents and tuberculosis.
They ate jellied eels & cabbage pies for snacks & were constantly filthy. Like that one neighbor kid you know with the permanent juice stain around their mouth & smells like spaghetti-o's; but for a reason. They were survivors with nothing to lose.
those kids were taking opium and whiskey to take the edge off the black lung that everybody had from the coal smoke permeating the air, a dorito won’t even register
They had to wade through a river made entirely of shit and industrial waste with infected cuts all over their arms and legs to find tiny pieces of coal. If they didn't find enough coal that day one of their 8 younger siblings would die of starvation.
On the other hand this dorito is pretty tasty.
