Jen Sorensen: This week's comic: Shell Game — Subium • Bluesky web client

This week's comic: Shell Game

I genuinely don't understand how this shit is actually legal. Why tf do we allow private equity to leverage debt to buy a company, put that debt on the company book, sell off everything the can, and then claim bankruptcy? This reads no different from actual fraud but its totally cool for these fucks

Probably because these private equity folks make large campaign donations to our politicians

Because when the mafia do it they use threats of violence and illegal gambling debts die some reason that's different

You forgot the carried interest loophole/scam... If carried interest was taxed as normal income, PE's calculus would at least change a bit (granted, maybe not enough).

Also, any "all you can eat" deals are expected to be loss leaders. Odds are, they made the money back on other things, like drinks and desserts. But, you make it look like a loss for accounting purposes, so you can write it off.

Their parent company was a shrimp processor, so they wanted rid of the shrimp.

Plus, they had a fair amount of different preparations of shrimp that were very popular but also very filing. I imagine most customers wouldn't get more than two helpings in before they asked for the check.

Yes, but the shrimp selling parent company came after the PE looting. Think of endless shrimp as the cherry on the whipped cream on the milkshake.

Private Equity Firms need to be criminalized. It's clear they do nothing good, come from nothing good, and lead to nothing good.

I agree They destoryed Toys R Us and Sears

And in case anyone doubts that, Toys R US Canada? Still doing fine.

This is what happened with Quiznos', too. Private equity firm bought the chain out and price-gouged franchisees while also advertising unsustainable discounts to customers.

And it gets even worse, when such bangsters get in the national governments.

It's already really bad with them destroying local journalism by buying up all the newspapers.

God I wish private equity was only going after chain restaurants. Not that I want them to go after chain restaurants either, but leveraged buyouts are occurring everywhere and they're all horseshit

One thing escaped from the private equity trap*, and they've been chasing that unicorn ever since. *Marvel Comics

Wasn't the land-jacking also a one-two punch with a shrimp company buying its way into the board of directors in order to force Red Lobster to buy way more shrimp than they could possibly use to begin with, hence the promotion?

The private equity firm sold Red Lobster to a seafood company in 2020 after selling off the real estate. Then the seafood company used them as a way to sell tons of their own shrimp. pluralistic.net/2024/05/23/s...

Pluralistic: Red Lobster was killed by private equity, not Endless Shrimp (23 May 2024) – Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorowpluralistic.net

Thai Union bought it from the Private Equity peeps who gutted them. The shrimp didn’t really matter in the scheme of things.

Remember that Sopranos episode where Tony takes a friend’s business as collateral for a gambling debt? They drove it into bankruptcy and stripped it for parts. The guy lost his business and his family. This is what private equity is, but it’s legal.

Geoffrey agrees. Those Toys R Us kids know.

Did you also see the bit where one of their major shareholders Thai Union was also selling them shrimp, and therefore had an incentive for them to buy as much shrimp from them as possible, even if it made a loss edition.cnn.com/2024/05/25/b....

How a global seafood giant broke Red Lobster | CNN Businessedition.cnn.com Thai Union’s damaging decisions drove Red Lobster’s fall, former executives say.

Something something capitalism selling itself the rope something something crustaceans.

That was largely irrelevant. Them being a seafood restaurant was the appeal in Thai Union’s eyes, but the PI buyout and decision to sell off all their land (to help pay for the buyout) and then lease it back was 18 times the loss. Thai Union was just left holding the bag.

hi, are you the ceo of thai union?

"lobster is so much tastier when you remove the shell" 🔥🔥🔥

wow this thing that doesnt suck is popular better buy it and make it suck

exactly what happened to Toys R Us. there's a huge incentive for companies to buy up other companies, gut them, and then just shut them down. late-stage capitalism has reached a point that NOT providing a good or service - and in fact, depriving people of a good or service - is more profitable

Oh, and don't forget the racism packed into the "customers exploiting endless shrimp" story too =D

how this isn't illegal as fuck is just mind boggling.

The shrimp thing is a thing total dumbasses say to feel smart. Like no, shrimp are probably the cheapest thing on the menu other than soda and them being able to literally give it away means they always could have if they wanted cause they make up profit with other items. Like soda!

Also, their main shareholder was also their shrimp supplier, so...

I remember the endless shrimp commercials in the 80s, 90s and 00s. It's been around a very long time, and suddenly it's a bad idea? Yeeeeah, no.

2009 Red Lobster Endless Shrimp commercialyoutu.be

Here's a cool article if people are interested: prospect.org/economy/2024...

The Raiding of Red Lobsterprospect.org The bankrupt casual restaurant chain didn’t fail because of Endless Shrimp. Its problems date back to monopolist seafood conglomerates and a private equity play.

Exactly. Private equity are parasites. They have two moves. Buy a company and butcher it for its meat. Or buy up the entire local industry so you can jack up prices because there's no competition. That move is particularly insidious when they do it with medical practices.

i thought millenials were killing the shitty chain restaurants but like every episode of scooby doo it was just another greedy white boomer dude in a mask

A prime example of how short-sighted private equity companies are. Any company with stable revenue should aim to own their own properties to lower their long term operating costs. Equity firms are just looking to make a quick buck and cash out, so they do the opposite.

Red Lobster is going bankrupt?

Yes, alas

This is perfect!

Absolutely

Great comic. I'm starting to think these new century fat cats make up these ridiculous excuses and juuuusst laugh and laugh amongst themselves.

It was compounded too with the fact that the "endless shrimp" promotion was a ruse for a ponzi scheme.

I honestly don’t even know how that shit’s legal.

True intellectuals eat the shrimp tails to

🎯

Nobody has yet explained to me why I should give a shit about Red Lobster.

Then you aren't very bright, perhaps? Because Red Lobster isn't the point.

Oh no. I get it. Venture capitalists employed shenanigans to make money by destroying Red Lobster. I’m like. Okay. Do Olive Garden next please.

Let's not please, because rich asshole MBAs already have enough money while average people are immiserated enough.

The enemy of your enemy is not your friend, in this case.

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