Lord Businessman II: You just so rarely see a Priest body someone so hard

You just so rarely see a Priest body someone so hard

One of my favorite things is seeing the weird, terminally-online reactionaries try to join conservative religions and running head-long into "We have positive beliefs and 90% of the things the secular world rejects in you we also reject."

One of these alt-right weirdos "converted" to Islam and invited an imam on his stream, and you can see the light leave his eyes more and more with every question he asks about shariah.

"Yo, I heard I can have multiple wives in Islam, yeah?" "Yes, if you are able and willing to provide good lives for all of them and the approval of their fathers, you may have as many wives as you wish." "So I was thinking of ditching the hoe I'm with-" "And making an honorless woman of her?"

"My son, I have seen your streams, and you must know that, as you are now a Muslim, you cannot pollute your body and soul with alcohol and gambling, and you should not flaunt your wealth with vanities. Also, stop eating bacon, it is also *haram*."

It was around the explanation of *Zakat* that I think the guy deconverted in his heart, although he's still going through the motions of being Islam while hinting that he's going to have a Born-Again Christian arc soon.

It's been awhile since my comparative religions class, what does the Koran say about apostacy?

I feel like Born-Again Christians also wouldn't want him to ditch the ho

"…While standing on one foot,"

Yeah that doesn't fit with general pre-modern understanding of interpersonal obligation especially in marriage

"Oh cool you want to be Orthodox" Yeah the most Orthodox "So we have Mass on Sundays, and bible practices Wednesday" Wut "And if you would of course you can join in with the readings on Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings" Saturday mornings!? What time!!? "Oh like 9am"

“And what day and time am I supposed to be posting?”

don’t forget the fasting! so much fasting!

I think a lot of both Left and Right have distilled the idea of "conservative religion" down to "god lets you do hate crimes" and are therefore shocked that the hate crimes are not actually the biggest part or even, in many religions, particularly welcome at all

I liked the one where a white nationalist moved to the midwest hoping it was a stronghold of the white race and it turned out they were all pretty normal people who just wanted to grill and weren't interested in a race war.

Guy shows up in what was identifiably IA or WI & immediately discovered instead of an SS summer camp of Nordic supermen we are the descendants of Rhenish & Swabian kulturkampf victims who are super uptight about clean, quiet & orderly cities; also the church girls WILL make you wait until marriage

Their sausages fuck, though. German sausage with choke-cherry sauce is killer.

nothing wrong with clean, quiet, orderly cities or with Midwest church girls

yeah we are losing a lot of our German Midwestern culture that makes me sad. In Chicago all of the German-American restaurants/institutions are closing down my German grandpa recently passed away & I don’t know how his town of 700 people will function because he ran so much of it for free lol

There’s nothing white supremacist about the pastries in Midwestern small towns either, but they *are* hard-working, intelligent pastries that understand the fundamentals and do the little things to help their team win. Real gritty, lunch-bucket pastries that leave it all on the field.

The fundamentals are just an absolute abandon in the use of lard and/or butter, tbh

Okay so this does work for my Swedish-American IL fiance that man needs the most orderly grill I have ever seen

It turns out that racial supremacists are not representative of their races, who would have thought?

They usually don't even represent the upper half percentiles

The best part of that was where he was complaining that they were all complacent and lazy and he missed the hustling, striving spirit of… the multicultural city he’d abandoned. He was femptometers away from a revelation, and I expect he still is.

Yeah, here we go. "I successfully escaped the degeneracy and chaos of the big city(*) only to find out that lack of order is incredibly boring; I wonder what that could possibly mean?" (*) by which he apparently meant something like Phoenix AZ, LOL

Er, "lack of chaos", my kingdom for an edit button here.

I like the ones where recent transplants to north texas expected open rightoid communities and find out they inadvertently chose the queerest neighborhoods in the metroplex

I keep writing my chief's office to cancel out Wendy's shitty-ass lease with us and replace it with a Culver's. Asheville has one, why shouldn't we?

The really sad thing is that if these nutters just stopped to breathe for 10 seconds and decided to give normal life a try (grills on Sundays, watch the football, hang out with friends for a couple of beers), then they might actually be happier.

Reminds me of WWII in Iceland. There's a letter from a German ambassador who had heard all these stories about viking aryan Übermenschen and expected Iceland to be eager to join, and his letter just DRIPS with his disappointment to discover that Icelanders had zero interest in race war ;)

If you find this link, I would love to see it as a former Midwesterner.

apologies for linking to the Bad Site, but the alternative is reading it directly from the dweeb's Subst*ck (note: he very much still IS a WN, he just doesn't call himself that anymore)

TracingWoodgrains on X: "white nationalist moves to the Midwest to live in his racial paradise, realizes he can't stand being around regular white people, stops being a white nationalist https://t.co/k4QkofAu8Y" / Xtwitter.com white nationalist moves to the Midwest to live in his racial paradise, realizes he can't stand being around regular white people, stops being a white nationalist https://t.co/k4QkofAu8Y

As a new Midwesterner, his politics is abhorrent, but his characterization of Midwesterners as hobbits at heart is wonderfully accurate.

Good point

And he just hounds on the Midwest like that after moving to corn country? How country is he… maybe his F150 is shiner than his bald spot. MW do not like flashy people irl. Dude is hated throughout the US, but cannot find the common denominator.

THANK YOU!!!

x.com/tracewoodgra...

dude messed up, shoulda went to a rural town in the PNW.

As I recall, he also found it all extremely boring

there was a quote from the Archbishop of Canterbury a couple years ago that was like “it’s not our job to force conservative dogma on everyone, if you want that, go become Catholic”

Oh hell no. We don't want them, either.

I think there are Evangelical Christian sects that would fit these guys' rancid vibe perfectly, but those aren't perceived as having the same Edgy Outsider Mystique.

Oh yes, and also, those aren't meaningfully conservative religions; they're reactionary, almost to the exclusion of any actual doctrine. Their pastor's preaching is just Nick Fuentes with an occasional "Jesus".

Fuentes, who claims to be Catholic. I say claims, because so far as I can tell, it’s mostly a front for antisemitism and misogyny.

Yup, that's Catholic all right.

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