The Mall Krampus

@themallkrampus.bsky.social

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Excel Jockey and Aspiring Quirky Suburban Dad. GrillCath Supremacist. Mostly here for well-read snark. RT = Regrettable Tumescence, Likes = Stochastic RTs.

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Les Dudes roques

The slogan for Burger King in France is a guy with a mouthful of food saying “mmh…bourgaire” and it’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard

There were always signs…

Make that three wins and a berth in the semifinal without a French player scoring a goal

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The Mall Krampus

Important to realize as we try to retain civility on Bluesky that all the stuff we say to each other will have literally zero impact on whether Biden bows out or not, we’re just hanging around yapping about politics like a bunch of old Greek guys at a sidewalk cafe, no need to take it personally

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I get so goddam tired of people trying to turn their mental poor health into a political statement.

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SHOTS FIRED

I’ve discovered to my dismay that the new “air fried” Kettle jalapeño chips are actually good enough for government work

The Des Moines Register, the mediocrest Gannett rag on Earth, has inexplicably managed to “Biden Old” better than its staff’s pedigreed betters on the Beltway (“Biden & Trump are both old as hell, here’s a funny but also kinda horrifying list of stuff they’re older than; what do we make of this?”)

The Vatican excommunicated Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò, exacting a severe punishment on the most vociferous internal critic of Pope Francis for refusing to recognize the authority of the pope and liberal reforms made by the Roman Catholic Church since the Second Vatican Council in the 1960s.

Vatican excommunicates Archbishop Viganò for refusing to recognize Pope Franciswapo.st In a rare trial, the Vatican acted against Carlo Maria Viganò, a former ambassador to the U.S. and one of Pope Francis’s most vociferous internal critics.

Each K is a Special K

Baseball prediction: Paul Skenes ketamine no hitter

Once again, from a purely sociological perspective, there’s a certain fascination seeing the media class follow basically the precise pattern of their nonprofit college classmates in terms of combining entitlement, profound laziness, & proclivity for mania to destructively Main Character a discourse

“I would never taste of the succulent, forbidden delights of Long Pig, prepared lovingly over palm flames on a sandbar, nor would I videotape myself partaking of those sweet, flavorsome meats on my yacht. Especially not that, & certainly not enough to have a wall of VHS tapes along those lines.”

Totally normal country

A thing that I think is very important while attempting to wrap your head around The Question is that you need to kill the part of yourself that believes this because it is, in fact, pretty evidently untrue, a fact that is unchanged by how distressing counteridealistic you might find it

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AND THEN DEADPOOL WALKS IN

Cannot emphasize enough how pathetic these editorial boards are revealing themselves to be.

Girlfriend toying with me with fake TdF news while I am on the road, knowing I will check my texts once I arrive before I check the sporting feeds. Monster

from a sociological perspective it's sort of fascinating to see The Discourse take on a Forever Primary dimension except that there's not really a consistent line so much as sort of a free for all of "Progs vs Panicking Libs" and "Finally a Pretext Progs vs Angry Libs" depending on the brainworms

Behold: a normal opinion. As rare as a white rhino.

Not that anyone is asking me, but I have no idea what the Democrats should do right now. All the options seem bad, and there isn’t one that seems less bad than the others. And as a professional opinion-haver, it’s disorienting to have no strong opinion about something so enormously consequential.

The phrase “survival checks” just rose mostly unbidden* in my brain and I am filled with roiling contempt yet again *technically as the first time Twitter created a Biden Controversy, the building blocks were there to Remember

Stipulating as always that there is a perfectly reasonable version of The Question, I want to throw out a consideration for everyone who feels like they are being driven insane by the Discourse in the Greater Twitsky Universe: Imagine an even tighter echo chamber, like, say, The Atlantic’s Slack.

I like being right as much as the next guy but I’m not in love with the evolution here where they are literally saying this out loud

The entire Discourse is largely orthogonal to the actual Question (which does, actually, have a coherent Pro version that a few people have articulated), but it’s interesting/predictable that the Good Idea Fairy has Xennial pressbeasts attempting to reverse-engineer a version of Candidate Obama

when you are a times alum on this website

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If only we could come up with some sort of universal object that if someone, just as an example, didn't want to spend many hours of their day toiling in the soil could earn by doing some other sort of task and then exchange THAT for food. Ah well, maybe one day.

Babe, wake up, Facebook is reinventing capitalism.

As always I’ll preface by saying the high-level Question is perfectly arguable, but the more granular the advice on social media the more one is reminded that everybody on here is an enormous freakazoid who is not nearly as smart as they believe themselves to be.

what’s upsetting is that this entire sentence scans perfectly

Marshawn Lynch and Gavin Newsom teaming up for new ‘Politickin” podcastdlvr.it Gavin Newsom’s name has found itself back in the headlines in recent days. That’s right — the California Governor has a new podcast. On Wednesday, iHeartMedia announced the launch of its new podcast, Politickin’, which Newsom will co-host alongside former…

“I wish we had a press like the British press” -Monkey Paw finger curls

People of the posting class in general underrate how hard swing districts are to win & the necessity of being annoying to the party on [whatever Deal is relevant to the electorate] but the, like, one thing that it literally *can’t be* to self-preserve is answer to “would I like our party to win?”

(L)marie glusenkamp perez (R) jared golden

Those of you still in group chats with, like, Matt Ford from the LNT days should encourage him to do his “self-talk on the Golden Gate Bridge before a swim” spiel in a less public place than “on Twitter main”

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there has been so damn much of this lately

pretty sure I’ve said this before but if you’re writing what you think politicians/campaigns should say, word for word, you’re fundamentally the guy going “I think it would be funny if in the next Deadpool movie Deadpool does this”

“Biden announces he will pardon any reporter what brings him the head of Sulzberger and grant an exclusive interview, after which he agrees to step down and write a blurb in favor of a Pulitzer provided he also gets the hands of the whole editorial board”

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