mean things I say to myself: Just saw the weirdest Starbucks commercial for bottled Frappuccino that says it tastes like a hug from you nana. Have they met that woman? She was all bones and opinions, I don't want to drink her side eye judgement wrapped in a Argyll sweater

Just saw the weirdest Starbucks commercial for bottled Frappuccino that says it tastes like a hug from you nana. Have they met that woman? She was all bones and opinions, I don't want to drink her side eye judgement wrapped in a Argyll sweater

try our coffee it tastes like racism

The snort that just came out of me!

Ahh, heavy perfume and cigarette smoke. Refreshing!

why does my coffee have kleenexes tucked in its sleeves

Wait, why are there nasty-but-evocative strawberry and butterscotch candies in this drink? Who blended the pierogies in there??

Mmmm, tastes just like telling me I’m too fat.

Exactly.

"Tastes like grandma" is an obvious win every time

Regardless of the grandma metaphor, aren’t hugs generally considered “warm” and frappuccinos… cold?

Exactly, it was the weirdest, most misguided selling point I can fathom for a company that has literally every creative resource available to them

Similar… I didn’t have a “nana;” I had a cold and distant grandmother who was decidedly hug-averse. It would be like drinking room-temperature Folgers without cream or anything.

Old floor wax, bacon, and artificial lavender. A taste sensation.

Wait, are we cousins?

they do kinda taste like perfume tho

Damp and mould and 50 yo perfume. Fucking yum

nana the all time (what’s the opposite of goat) at hugging

Lemme guess... there was some rosewater involved 🤢.

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