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@misterblank.bsky.social

272
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191
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just a bad comedian your new boyfriend’s better than
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 13 hr
detective: this guy’s story isn’t adding up. partner: [mouth full of donuts] no you’re thinking of math.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 18 hr
me: [slipping handful of minestrone in your pocket] keep this safe.
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John Shirley @johnshirley2024.bsky.social · 2 days
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social · 2 days
You call this grace amazing? I’ve heard better.
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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 7 mo
when i don’t get a joke i like to go into the comments and say i don’t get it, so the poster knows to be clearer next time
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dillo (the yakubian mamba) @dillo.media · 2 days
(millennial James Brown) I feel bad
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melted computer @meltedcomputer.bsky.social · 2 days
smash that like button. destroy your computer. burn down your house
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 3 days
I think scented markers for adults could reunite the country
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 3 days
i have had it up to here with height restrictions
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 2 days
me: objection your honor this paper has too many lines on it. judge: overruled. me: yes that’s right.
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Spooky Sara @pashion.bsky.social · 3 days
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Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social · 3 days
hey babe, i have games on my phone if you wanna come over
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 4 days
caught my cat carrying her stuffed bunny around in her mouth and it was the greatest seven seconds of my life.
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Saeg Flowers @onebeanburrito.bsky.social · 4 days
airing political ads in every hamster wheel to say stop running this way and run that way instead
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 4 days
me: are you ready to leave? wife: yes. me: but you’re still in your pajamas. wife: oh you meant the house.
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Gwen McNamara @timeandagwen.bsky.social · 4 days
Rapist and convicted felon Trump brushed off his incessant lying debate performance in a high-stakes interview after he defiantly declared on the stump that he'll stay in the 2024 race. Follow live updates.
Avatar CNN @cnn.com · 4 days
President Biden brushed off his shaky debate performance in a high-stakes interview after he defiantly declared on the stump that he'll stay in the 2024 race. Follow live updates.
Live updates: Biden ABC News interview; 2024 election news | CNN Politicscnn.it Follow here for the latest on the presidential campaign as President Joe Biden vows to stay in the race against former President Donald Trump despite pressure from some Democrats.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 4 days
boot camp sounds silly as hell. gonna toast some brogans around the campfire? make friendship bracelets out of galoshes? mukluks color war? grow up.
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fredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social · 6 days
he died the way he lived, by slowly dying
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 5 days
fucken love tie-dyeing i’ll tie-dye anything.
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filth_waste @filth-waste.bsky.social · 5 days
internet was down and i was stuck with my own stupid thoughts like some kind of animal
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 5 days
always like to put food toward the outside of the microwave plate. let it go for a little ride.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 5 days
bullshit no one ever told you the world was gonna roll you. nobody says that.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 5 days
remember don’t look directly at the fireworks or your retinas are gonna be absolutely fucked.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 5 days
is it trink-et or trin-ket this is important for urgent and unexplainable reasons
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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 6 days
I don’t have a dog so I celebrate July 4th with those cucumbers that freak out my cat.
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 6 days
good day to be reminded that every single republican is an irredeemable asshole. there are no exceptions.
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 6 days
Convinced that no one will ever love me based on my rudimentary understanding of how a compass works
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Starlit_Stella @starlilstella.bsky.social · 6 days
Earlier today #Amity resident & town playboy Ted Grossman disappeared while rowing his boat across the Estuary. Several beach goers claim to have seen Mr. Grossman fall out of his boat but did not see him resurface. Anyone with any info has been urged to contact #AmityPolice
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 6 days
viral marketing for jesus love’s new album
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blank @misterblank.bsky.social · 6 days
something unnatural about a pier. you shouldn’t be walking there you’re supposed to be drowning.