Nicholas Grossman: Disney exec: We need you again. Disney lawyer: Which daycare this time? Disney exec: Actually it's— Disney lawyer: A lemonade stand that used a copyrighted image? Disney exec: No, it's Elon Musk. And we're defending basic First Amendment freedoms. Disney lawyer: [Bursts into song]

Disney exec: We need you again. Disney lawyer: Which daycare this time? Disney exec: Actually it's— Disney lawyer: A lemonade stand that used a copyrighted image? Disney exec: No, it's Elon Musk. And we're defending basic First Amendment freedoms. Disney lawyer: [Bursts into song]

please universe, please give me a scenario in which Elon Musk sufficiently provokes Disney into legal warfare

Elon Musk calls for “criminal prosecution” of X ad boycott perpetratorsarstechnica.com Congress accused advertisers group of colluding to tank X's revenue.

Disney CEO: So I read in the paper that the Musk guy is going to Disney CLO: yeah don't worry about it, already on it, not going to be a problem

Disney CFO: What if we just buy X Disney CLO: Hugh we went over this, we don't want it Disney CFO: aw, I just like buying companies

Iger Superfan: But sir! Disne-fying one of the most un-Disney places on Earth would secure your legacy as the executive who does what people say can't be done!

At this point buy it and shut it down as a gesture of goodwill to society and call it a PR purchase.

The thing about "just buy"ing X is that Musk must choose to sell it. And if he saw that decision in rational financial terms, he wouldn't have accepted the Twitter board's offer (at a high premium over then-current market price, with an intended poison-pill provision that kept him from backing out).

is it really his though? I bet lots of banks that are involved one way or another would L O V E it if this investment suddenly changes hands

Oh, I'm sure the banks would be thrilled. But they hold loans, not equity; the most they could do to make a sale happen is pressure Musk if he balks on payments, and I haven't heard he tried to stiff them yet.

That is quality content, right there.

Noooooooo oooooooone… Cries like E-Lon No one spies like E-Lon No one instigates Nazi white guys like E-Lon He’s incredibly expert at profligating, oh what a guy…that E-Lon

Does he eat dozens of eggs at breakfast? Is that why he's shaped like a barge?

🎵I can show you the tort Shining shimmering lawsuits!🎵

Tell me, Iger Now, when did you last let your cash decide?

"The hills are alive, with the sound of billable hours!"

*In-house litigation lead looks up from sharpening his novelty “Sword in the Stone” blade with an eager glint in his eyes*

LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESSS TO DEFEAT THE MUSK

He’s been sowing evil, from dawnnnnnn…till dusk! He’s the saddest prick I’ve never met, and he hasn’t got a clue… Somehow he’ll…turn the world…into pooooooo!

👏

ok but is this particular lawsuit capable of reaching the supreme court

Oh right. That.

it woudl be very funny to see thomas write some opinion that it is illegal to not advertise on a social media platform

Gonna cost him a all expense vacation

Should be a slam dunk for the advertising group: "We saw that our members ads were being posted directly next to white supremacist and avowed neo-nazi content, and felt that it wasn't conducive to providing their shareholders with the best value."

With the caveat that I can't confidently rule out this Supreme Court deciding that the Constitution requires private companies to buy ads on right-wing websites, it's hard to see any legal argument. "We spent our marketing budget in ways we thought would best increase sales" is unbeatable.

BE: This fucking guy... Disney CLO: We can work something out, no need to... BE: Make an example of him? DCLO: No, sir. Everyone saw the defanging of DeSantis. We can relax on this one. BE: Don't ever use that word near me. DCLO: I'm sorry, sir. BE: I want his cock and balls in a jar. Got it?

What Disney character is the lawyer (Wrong answers only):

Tinker Bell

Musk is the one African-American who needs to go back where he came from.

Gotta admit, I snorted coffee out my nose at the daycare joke. Thank you for that.

"Which jurisdiction has the most favorable law on punitive damages?"

This is all truer than lawyers would care to admit.

@cthomasesq.bsky.social

WHAT A TOOL

YUUUUUP

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