Blue sky jerk: Trying to have sex in the cybertruck and accidentally getting your virginity back

Trying to have sex in the cybertruck and accidentally getting your virginity back

“the official truck of byu”

It’s got the same design profile as their chastity belts

That truck is perhaps the unsexiest vehicle I've seen so far.

This is like a perfect post.

Elon Musk would promise me virginity, and instead I'd get potato salad with raisins.

Birth control on wheels

Nobody’s getting laid in that truck.

They'll be getting un-laid. Like some kind of sex necromancy. Sexromancy. Which is ironically neither sexy nor romantic.

I dunno, there's some wide, inviting gaps in that bodywork...

I bet this guy is gonna love it

Sex With My Car | My Strange Addictionyoutu.be Nathaniel is in a committed relationship with his car, Chase.Subscribe for more great clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2vlpX8sNDBmPcY_1_QSGJg?sub_con...

I remember that being one of the most uncomfortable hours of television I ever saw, especially when he is “coming out” to his father.

🎶🎶 Ain’t no one ever gonna fuck/In the front or th’ back of a cybertruck… 🎶🎶

Who the fuck thought making a vehicle look like a goddamn Apple II GS mouse was a good idea??

or the commodore 64 mouse direct comparison

The best you’ll get is an over-the-pants handjob from Lauren Boebert in a Cybertruck.

I… feel… sick…

I believe you misread the advertisement they had ditched the name cybertrunk (I think it is better that way though)

You just sold to the born agains and evangelical fathers.

Honestly, no one that considers owning one of those has ever lost it in the first place

if the truck is rockin' ... break in by all means, the only possible explanation is someone having a medical emergency

HA!!! Bout spit all over my computer lol

Getting pinched in one of those razor crevices and keeping your chastity … forever.

Thanks geratol!

the only penetration that happens in a cybertruck is when one of those jagged misaligned angles catches someone's arm

goddamn

Ha ha.

I imagine it to be like Will in the Inbetweeners. Stiff body and socks on.

Feels like the plot to a twilight zone episode. "You've gotten the ride of a life time, a taste of the future truly can be. But the memory of your forgotten lovers lingers in the air."

This comment seems to be making a joke about the unconventional design of the Cybertruck and its potential impact on sexual encounters. While humor is subjective, it's important to remember to be respectful and considerate

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Just remember Tesla staff are recording you for their internal TeslaFans channel.

Hey at least you’ll be bullet proof while looking stupid though!

I don’t think even those horny dragons on Reddit would go anywhere near it.

Probably the second-most likely outcome, right after cutting your bits open on the panel gaps 🥴

Good post. Reeeeal fuckin good post. An FGP.

this happens, can confirm (i am in extremely frequent contact w/ tesla owners)

"trying" is going to be way further realistically than its owners are going to get

@charles-ex.bsky.social Cyber jokes

That’s some weird Titane fanfiction.

This is called "Getting musky".

🤣

Who needs a fuck when you got a truck like the Cybertruck? You ain't gonna score in that baby anyway.

Having your genitals exposed next to that many sharp corners probably counts as a knife play fetish.

oh my god

🤣

They are the forsworn, bound by oath evermore to get no bitches and stack no paper

Or spraining your neck.

I would have a better chance in a Rabbit diesel pickup.

That would explain the truck’s body lines

hahahahaha

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