FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

@armyvet1972.bsky.social

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I’m neither politically correct nor incorrect. I’m just plain wrong.

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Gonna buy one of those 13’ skeletons from Home Depot this year and staple a bunch of raw meat to it for enhanced spookiness

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I’m no marriage counselor, but have you ever tried sucking your husband’s dick?

Only fans killed frisky friday

Haven’t showered since Monday morning at 3:45 AM who wants to wrassle

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I’m not like other girls. I have my mental breakdowns in private.

People who say something is “better than sex” are telling us way more about themselves than any of us asked them to

I may be chronically online but remember, this is a mobile phone. I’m currently typing this while illegally riding atop a boxcar traveling from Altoona to Fort Wayne. Making some hobo chili rn (right now)

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They say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world," so I haven't reached out to a single family member since last year.

Guy at work whose conversation abilities are limited to maybe thirteen phrases which he seemingly uses at random

I am not the anxietee, I am the anxieter

Did I ever tell you guys that I’m friends with Willie Nelson’s granddaughter? That’s probably my biggest claim to fame. I have others, though. what are yours?

Six Guinness are my feeling pretty good boundary

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dont be sad, the microplastics will live on in our hearts forever

All right, fellas this guy managed to stay on his feet after 13 of us pounded him mercilessly for 20 minutes. All in favor of making him a member? [all: AYE] Well, it’s unanimous. Everybody welcome the newest lifetime member of the Bushy Beaver Brigade. Blood in, blood out, brother.

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My dating profile reads curmudgeon with a heart of gold and it’s a bald faced lie, it’s a heart of darkness.

YouTube “the truth about the assassination attempt” video: and right here *circles the Secret Service sniper* You see him, focusing here, in this square space… speaking of Squarespace, they can have your e-commerce solutions up and running in no time, use promo code CROOKS for 10% off your 1st month

Hey guys welcome back to the channel. Today we’ll be unboxing a chiropractor. But not just any chiropractor, it’s the cheapest one we found on Temu. Make sure you like and subscribe.

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wait a second A = 01 M = 13 A = 01 Z = 26 O = 15 N = 14 —— 70 NOT PRIME wtf A = 01 M = 13 A = 01 Z = 26 O = 15 N = 14 P = 16 R = 18 I = 09 M = 13 E = 05 ——- 131 PRIME ohhhh ok

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Ok well, I’m arguing with kids on Roblox so I’ll text you later.

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Is someone working on a pill that feels like waking up well rested?

show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie

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I think my long, slow descent into madness started when I was unknowingly on the Discover feed for the better part of two days.

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What's under my jorts, you ask? Junderwear, of course.

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I mean, if I were a billionaire, I’d be all up in everyone’s credit histories, much as the good samaritans were at Christmastimes of old with K-Mart layaways. I’d be calling up schools & hospitals & paying off debt. I’d lend a hand. And still have plenty left over for a Taco Bell party pack for me.

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76% humidity today. I have made my own primordial soup if you want to come over for dinner later.

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batman fans getting circumcised call that the Snyder Cut

I’ve reached a level of breakfast snobbery where I’m buying six packs of brioche buns every week for my homemade sausage, egg, bacon, ham, and cheese sandwiches

If I live until April 20, 2069, my tombstone is gonna say “Nice”

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OF COURSE size matters. Nobody likes a small bag of Cheetos.

Just got a notification from facebook that someone mentioned me in a comment on a post from 2021. The post was a friend announcing the death of another friend of ours. The comment was trying to sell a t-shirt to me and all the other commenters from the original post