Chris Burdick

@chrisburdick.bsky.social

856

Posts

Wrote a few horror movies with names like HALLOW'S END and CANNIBAL TABOO (if you've seen either all the way through, I commend you).

Pro-Humanity, Anti-theist, Anti-centrist. I have a cat.

(And Twitter *always* sucked.)

https://www.patreon.com

Posts Replies Media

You know that the world has reached Salacious Hollywood Rumor Overload when you have to find out from Wikipedia that Don Corleone was possibly banging Mister Peepers.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

This episode aired in 1994 and no other joke about American politics has held up that consistently for so long.

Hold the phone! I discovered an official and legally-binding government document that changes EVERYTHING!

I see that Cenk and Ana made a friend.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Every picture of JD Vance looks like he's just been told the court clerk does not accept Bitcoin.

Every picture of JD Vance looks like he’s sitting at a kitchen table waiting for Chris Hansen to enter the room

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

They have such winning ideas like “why don’t we charge people who want to know if that tornado is gonna hit their house.”

The MAGA Plan to End Free Weather Reportswww.theatlantic.com Project 2025 would all but dissolve the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

This’ll never make me a regular on msnbc, but people should be ashamed to admit they support Trump. He is a hideously bad person proposing to enact a vast expansion of cruelty and human suffering. The erosion and collapse of social sanctions for supporting someone so indecent is a big problem.

*sigh* Time to find a new sticker manufacturer.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

I think a big mistake liberals make is constantly making up an imagined "normal voter" in their heads to triangulate their opinions around. NO! What do YOU THINK? What do THE PEOPLE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW BELIEVE?

This is how you help a wounded ear heal.

Natural Causes is in the position to do the funniest thing ever right now.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Rough day for all of us who have $500,000 in emotional support cash under our beds.

NEW YORK (AP) — Sen. Bob Menendez convicted of taking bribes paid in gold and a luxury car. Verdict still being read at corruption trial.

UAW leader Shawn Fain is so great. And Teamsters president Sean O'Brien is such a festering sack of crap.

I've been pronouncing it "MOG-UH" but I notice now that other people pronounce it "MAGG-UH." EDIT: I looked it up. The proper pronunciation is "Nazi shit."

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

What if, for a change of pace, literally anything good happened?

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Not sure what's more horrifying. The fact grooming insurance exists, or the fact churches can't operate without it.

At his swearing-in ceremony, we'll find out it stands for "Jackoff Dickhead Vance."

JD Vance is so unmistakably smarmy, I'm hoping he'll nullify at least some of Trump's momentum.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

I don't think "quiet loner" is the kind of scoop that's going to win any Pulitzers.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Portrait of a cat who misjudged a jump and fell into the recycling bin and actually would rather not talk about it, thank you very much

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

I'm also making a private list of communists but it says To Smooch at the top and I've doodled some flowers around the margins.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

living in this country is like being awake on the table

After Trump went down, Grubby QAnon Guy—the one they claim is JFK Jr.—got out his phone and started swiping. Weird time to be checking Tinder, but I guess life goes on...

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Just left a rightwing coffee shop, where all the men were saying how exhausted they were from masturbating to the Trump raised fist pic all weekend. “But still,” one guy said “that’s all I’m gonna do today.” Others agreed. I got out fast when they started up again.

What if the Trump we got now was Jumpy Trump? He'll be in the middle of one of his typical, bullying speeches when he suddenly stops, sweaty and anxious, and says, "Did you hear that? I heard something. Something's weird. Check under that table!" "We already checked there, sir." "CHECK AGAIN!"

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

The rules of the game: Nothing Republicans say about Democrats, no matter how deranged — such as Mark Robinson saying that “some people need killing” — will be considered out of bounds, yet standard political rhetoric from Democrats will be treated as incitement to violence.

Today's newsletter: Rewriting the Rules of Engagement: GOP's Attempt to Silence Legitimate Criticism www.readtpa.com/p/rewriting-...

Rewriting the Rules of Engagement: GOP's Attempt to Silence Legitimate Criticismwww.readtpa.com Republicans revive the familiar tactic of misconstruing Democratic rhetoric as an incitement to violence.

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

"This changes everything" No, it doesn't. Jesus Christ, grow a spine.

Why are Democrats like this?

Reposted by

Chris Burdick

Two months ago Greg Abbott pardoned a murderer who texted a friend "I might go to Dallas to shoot looters" then drove into a BLM protest in Austin and killed a protester. The universal response from conservatives to the pardon was "Yeah! Woo-hoo!" Now they say liberals should turn down the rhetoric

I just exclaimed, "Gah! I'm so tired!" and this somehow triggered Alexa to repeatedly ask me something unintelligible that sounded like an expression of concern.

The twofold duties of the Secret Service: - protect the life and safety of current and former U.S. Presidents, at all costs - arrange optimal conditions for presidential photo ops If both objectives cannot be simultaneously accomplished, the second is the one that takes precedence.