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hello i need to report a possible marijuana
it’s coming from inside the house
All units have been dispatched
I'm highly trained and will dispose of any trace of marijuana I find.
Please hang up the phone.
Take a deep breath.
Again
and
Again
Better now? 😁
I'm going to have to test that alleged marijuana for authenticity first.
lmk where, I'll bring some papers and lighter *ahem* I mean testing kit just to be sure
we are experts with industry-approved disposal methods and would like to help
😂bless you and your good work
Okay so we have one opening for you today... Is a 4:20pm blunt rotation session ok with you?
To quote the old texts: is that a police? I’m calling the weed!
Don't touch it with your bare skin ma'am - you may die! Best thing is to put on rubber gloves, pick it up and put it in a baggie, and we'll dispose of it. Also if you have any cookies please set those out too, official police business.
Unconscionable Destruction Team 6 is en route to the violation site
Is that a team that destroys unconscionable things, a team that destroys things unconscionably, or an unconscionable team that destroys things?
This is the exact (correct) response I expected
Hello Ho, how may we help you? lol
My porch is my property 😶🌫️
I told you I'd share... geeez
Is it in you hand currently and if so, does it appear to be burning?
You must be at the grocery store because ew
So, you're calling on yourself?
It's a definite marijuana or we don't send the squad.
sounds good to me, me and snoop dogg will be over there soon
Sorry, we only handle the impossible kind
