Justmebutnot1

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Justmebutnot1

@justmebutnot1.bsky.social

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My comma went to Oxford and all I got was this lousy, ( how do you say t-shirt in English English?)
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:p37iqdhcybfiddzfgaltptcn/feed/aaac3wknaosc6
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Violetmusing🧚🏼‍♀️ @violetmusing.bsky.social · 6 hr
You know, if the Golden Girls were still alive none of this would be happening.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 6 hr
I am the kind of person you show your rash, not your ween.
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Ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 6 hr
Killer whales like to play in the orcahestra.
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La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social · 7 hr
Mixed drinks 👍🏼 Mixed signals 👎🏼
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Matty @crawlycreepy.bsky.social · 12 hr
No, I don't want to purchase a burial plot. That's the last thing I need.
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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 12 hr
Headbanging to my heart palpitations
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Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 8 hr
It's easier to make people laugh when your life is a fucking joke
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Manofletterz @manofletterz.bsky.social · 8 hr
Ain't no sunshine when I'm gone either
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Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 13 hr
The shitposters guide to the internet. Vol.1 Social Media
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La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social · 13 hr
Keep him on his toes while being on your knees.
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Chabby D @chabbyd.bsky.social · 13 hr
I was the first person in my family to really fuck this up
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Chabby D @chabbyd.bsky.social · 13 hr
If you go to the Olive Garden and order soup, salad and breadsticks, and they don’t give you your own basket of breadsticks, you FLIP. THE. FUCKING. TABLE.
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BEAVE ² @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 15 hr
Learn to enjoy the small things, like airing out your armpits on a hot summer day.
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Dahlia 🖤 @ladarkdahlia.bsky.social · 15 hr
How long do you walk around before you notice the peanut butter on your glasses....askin for a friend
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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 15 hr
I get all of my blue balls on bluesky
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RainDro @raindro369.bsky.social · 17 hr
Did a reply guy thing and replied. Please respond
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debbshock @debbshock.bsky.social · 16 hr
are you paying me? then shut the fuck up.
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Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 19 hr
I'm 2 hours into a diet, and i’m crawling on the floor asking people why i can’t see
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Neener Neener Neener 🇨🇦🍁 @neenerneenerneener.bsky.social · 18 hr
So, I’ve been waiting for delivery of my own personal Jesus since 1989. But, in retrospect, maybe that was a music video and not an informercial.
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Staff Chief of Joints @etrain.bsky.social · 19 hr
The most common source of sub skeets is two submariners banging in a submersible.
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La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social · 19 hr
Ok well, I’m arguing with kids on Roblox so I’ll text you later.
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La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social · 19 hr
Today is Amazon Prime Day. Don’t forget to buy stuff you don’t need to save money.
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AllTimeAss @maxhyde.bsky.social · 20 hr
I am insanely fucking envious of every single one of you, y'all can fucking mute my thoughts any fucking time
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Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social · 20 hr
Looking for a brand new (never used) cat tree/tower with built-in hammock and feeding bin and ferris wheel and temperature control. I'm willing to spend $12
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Don Keidick @donkeidick.bsky.social · 20 hr
I wonder how many years it took for Mrs. Klaus to get tired of him calling it “the real north pole”.
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Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social · 21 hr
if you want a girl to like you just never let on that you exist
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Holly Brolightly @hollyholightly.bsky.social · 21 hr
it’s always “OMG why does your vagina have teeth,” and never “OMG I love both your smiles”
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Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 21 hr
I don’t recognize 2/3 of the keys in my junk drawer
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Chris Steller @chrissteller.bsky.social · 21 hr
moving to smaller and smaller microblogging platforms