Major Dogpenis

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Major Dogpenis

@morbius.email

62
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194
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I'm not a real person I'm just like a guy
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Jonathan M. Katz @katzonearth.bsky.social · 4 days
All I’m going to say is I have it on good authority that the FBI has not ruled out the involvement of a dragon or dragons
Avatar Nick Brumfield @nickjbrumfield.bsky.social · 4 days
Alright. Stop. Take a breath. Let's promise each other that we aren't going to post disinformation about the assassination attempt. That we aren't going to retweet or share random claims whose only source is a tweet screenshot. The smartest thing to do right now is wait for reliable information.
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Talia Lavin @swordsjew.bsky.social · 4 days
at the time of the shot trump was bragging about his plan to deport 20 million people
Reply toAvatar boyzantium (samoyedcore) ("deathcore doggy
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
My autism frequently manifests as realizing basic thoughts or social norms roughly 5-15 years later than the general population
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
I'm 31 now so I'm finally roughly as socially capable as a 20 year old! I know what body language is! I'm so powerful
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
I feel so bad for anyone who knew me before whenever I discovered weed and found out you can talk to people without feeling like there are daggers in my eyes. That was key
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
Oh also they give you a lot of alcohol in those drinks at gay bars. I like vodka do you like vodka
Reply toAvatar boyzantium (samoyedcore) ("deathcore doggy
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
That's fucked. That's fucked up. I'm gonna puke
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
Maybe because I'm very drunk. Did you know they just let you fuck in the corner at some gay bars?
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 10 days
1. I am a fool who tries to go to bars at 9 and is confused they're empty 2. Alcohol is good 3. There is one good gay bar in Seattle called CCs the other ones are too small 4. They let you do a lot of stuff at a gay bar that I think would be frowned upon in regular bars
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 12 days
Also, a specific brand of adapter I recommend is Anker. They are typically way better at keeping USBC cables plugged in, some of their cords feature magnet technology for a more secure fit, couldn't find the adapter with that tho but still worth a try imo
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 12 days
It's not as secure as an actual headphone jack click in but at least this doesn't have the little thingy where it disconnects via magnets like some of the adapters do a.co/d/06gS26P0
Amazon.com: USB C Headphones for Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra/23/22/21/20+/A Series, Magnetic Wired Earbuds with Microphone, Volume Control, in-Ear Earphones for iPhone 15 Pro Plus Max, iPad, Pixel, Black...a.co Amazon.com: USB C Headphones for Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra/23/22/21/20+/A Series, Magnetic Wired Earbuds with Microphone, Volume Control, in-Ear Earphones for iPhone 15 Pro Plus Max, iPad, Pixel, Black...
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alan mustache @danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 14 days
the people who supported forcing this mess on us in 2020 are very upset you think they're stupid & making fun of them
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Will Weldon @oldmanweldon.bsky.social · 16 days
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 16 days
Welcome to red earth the social media where we are all furious goblins and nasty insects
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 17 days
Just like how did you see this it's from 7 months ago lol
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 17 days
Why did you need to put the sarcasm in parentheses it was pretty obvious. Are you like old and not aware of how to talk online
Reply toAvatar lowtax speedrun enjoyer
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 18 days
Wait what
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 18 days
Dunno why you're commenting on this now but I was on a lot of drugs at this time
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Butt teeth! Butt teeth! Butt teeth! @panic.gay · 6 mo
In case no one has told you lately: 1. You are strong 2. You are beautiful 3. Sea cucumbers have fish that live in their buttholes and eat their ever-regenerating gonads like some sort of sick undersea Prometheus 4. You are deserving of love
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Josh Crowley (@jdcrowley) @joshcrowley.bsky.social · 20 days
Inspiring: This Machine Transforms 300 Gallons Of Clean Water And Three Days’ Worth Of Electricity Into A Single Photo Of Joe Biden With 27 Fingers And Gorilla Breasts
Reposted byAvatar Major Dogpenis
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Asawin Suebsaeng @swin24.bsky.social · 20 days
the winner of tonight’s Debate is the American people, because what other modern democracies gets to pick between dead ass sexy men like this. Nobody, nowhere else
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 20 days
Newest lady part just discovered known as the "attack orb"
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 20 days
Followed all
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Raccoons Hourly @raccoonhourly.bsky.social · 20 days
Reply toAvatar Mrs. Kleinschmidt
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 20 days
Keep me up to date happy to join the top hater on bluesky on a hate quest
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 20 days
What is a penis if not a stick
Reply toAvatar Josh Fruhlinger
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 21 days
How is there not an HBO show called pope wars. Bring back young pope but this time... There's another sexy rival pope. Game of Popes.
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 22 days
Wizard cum
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Major Dogpenis @morbius.email · 24 days
He's clearly mutated! Look at the size of these paws!