MF FairyPrincessSmoo

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MF FairyPrincessSmoo

@smooheed.bsky.social

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Brains are sexy, wish everyone had one
Same stick figure, different app

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xbvg7j5gclf7gxoc5jrjdeoi/feed/aaalb6dnhmcjs
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo @smooheed.bsky.social · 4 days
Like Gandalf said “It’s more important to enjoy the days we have left than it is to think about the days we lost.” That might have been Dumbledore or Yoda. It’s possible I just made that up but it’s true. @riley1701.bsky.social
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Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social · 5 days
*playing the tuba outside your window at 3am I just wanted you to know that everyone thinks you’re a cunt.
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo @smooheed.bsky.social · 5 days
I love this way more than I should @bestskeet.bsky.social
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Molly @bettyriot.bsky.social · 20 days
Apparently unemployed Muse is not eligible for unemployment benefits
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 7 days
well well well welcome to stutterers club
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BBKitty @bbkitty.bsky.social · 7 days
Yes, its me! I’m back I hate to ask, but I’d love to find my people again. Any chance you guys help me out?
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BEAVE ² @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 7 days
This isn’t a spiral into insanity, it’s a beautiful pirouette.
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 7 days
[getting pulled over] Cop: lemme see your drafts folder Me: I don’t use a drafts folder Cop: holy fucking shit you’re free to go
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 7 days
My sexual orientation is being mildly annoyed by your constant eager horniness
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Edward James Almost @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 7 days
Canceling my therapy appointment with the note "I'm fine after all"
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Ƙappa @dopeshow.bsky.social · 7 days
Asking the sales rep which robot vacuum will talk dirty to me
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Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social · 7 days
Car horns should sound like the theme from “Jaws”
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Pot Shop Boy @potshopboy.bsky.social · 7 days
All I'm saying is, Washington AC/DC would be a lot cooler.
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 7 days
With virtually no power at all, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility.
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Staff Chief of Joints @etrain.bsky.social · 7 days
So You've Decided to Embezzle: A Beginner's Guide
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 10 days
Ma'am, I haven't opened my mail in a month because mail is scary. Please do not trust me with your baby
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo @smooheed.bsky.social · 13 days
13 The maximum number of times you can use the word moist during a call before they refuse to deliver pizza to your house
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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 13 days
I’m renowned for my taco art.
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 13 days
911: what’s your emergency Me: I’m in bed with my girlfriend and a shirtless man has broken into the house 911: is he a threat? Me: [noticing my girlfriend looking at his abs] ya
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 13 days
This day in history. 1803. The Louisiana Purchase. Thomas Jefferson added 828,000 square miles to the USA and his daughters hid his credit cards.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 13 days
"Stop fucking around, Alex. I'm gonna lose the light pretty soon."
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 13 days
the original VR.
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bacon popsicle 🤡 @gupton68.bsky.social · 13 days
I’m not a fan of body shaming but I do think it’s a shame that nobody told younger me to look after this body for today me.
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Chelle @metallicunt.bsky.social · 13 days
If we're talking cats and you use the term "spicy," I reserve the right to repeat it incessantly like Homer contemplating a donut.
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 13 days
My main flirting move is to have passionate animal sex with them. It's pretty effective.
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Chelle @metallicunt.bsky.social · 13 days
Found half a panini and a French fry on my second floor balcony. Either the ravens are trying to feed me, or I have a very considerate stalker.
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo @smooheed.bsky.social · 13 days
Hope you’re ok x
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Jay @jaycubed2k.bsky.social · 13 days
What do you mean I'm ruining the holiday for everyone
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 13 days
One bad asshole spoils the brunch.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social · 13 days
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. I mean, I literally bought a farm.