Chestbursty

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Chestbursty

@chestrovert.bsky.social

878
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565
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2527
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I'm not exactly what you'd call "novelty corn cob holder rich"
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
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heiðrún @harpy.party · 1 hr
I wonder if I could chew my way out of an enclosure
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Brosephine Wires @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 2 days
I’m a hostage. Send reinforcements — I can’t fight him on my own.
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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 5 hr
[blowing three notes into a cursed melodica] the time is upon us! capybara army arise and serve me!
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Super(kim)star! @aquavulva.bsky.social · 11 hr
NO PRIVACY FOR YOU!
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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 2 days
[me, tryna fit in on bsky] these nuts!
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 2 days
I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 6 hr
Live, laugh, lick the toad
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Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social · 4 hr
i enjoy your guys’ posts, they make me feel several profound emotions
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 19 hr
While you were sleeping, the Fae replaced your cheese with a changeling.
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debbshock @debbshock.bsky.social · 4 hr
Le Pen is out of ink
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 5 hr
It's not you baby it's my endocrine disorder
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 5 hr
What do I bring to your post-apocalyptic society? No, I'm not a doctor or a hunter. But I am very good at district placement
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 5 hr
More like How in the Heck is Carmen Sandiego, c'mon bring it in, girl
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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 5 hr
found the only item i want from my fil’s estate
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 6 hr
The Legally Blonde Cinematic Universe
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 6 hr
Ma'am, I haven't opened my mail in a month because mail is scary. Please do not trust me with your baby
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dugglebutt @dugglebutt.bsky.social · 7 hr
I try to be nice on social media because, and I don’t know why this is the case, but it has just become the norm to tear people down and try to take them out. Maybe it’s just because it is an easy thing to do when you hide behind a profile? I’m not sure. But that is so dumb. We are all just people.
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Kappa @dopeshow.bsky.social · 7 hr
If you want to pleasure a man, lean in close and whisper, "I think we should buy rc helicopters and race them professionally"
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Kappa @dopeshow.bsky.social · 8 hr
This account is dedicated to Jeff Goldblum's sock drawer, specifically
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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 9 hr
If we simply label everything porn from now on, all gloryholes will become libraries
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Rogs 🤖 @stev.bsky.social · 1 mo
Back in my day we called apps programs
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Rogs 🤖 @stev.bsky.social · 9 hr
Get pancaked you frickin wheat boy
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Victim of the algorithm @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · a day
An 1800s pioneer woman could kill me with one punch
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bee lake @leemanish.bsky.social · 10 hr
a woman knocked on my door and said that this was the house she grew up in - and asked if she could come in and look around? She seemed sweet, so I said sure - but now she's been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes?
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Anne Aardvark @haljak.bsky.social · 12 hr
FULL ON ROBOT CHUBBY
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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 12 hr
if i'm not coughing up blood at the end of my massage, i ain't payin'
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Rogs 🤖 @stev.bsky.social · 2 days
Everyone knows that famouse film, "What's the Deal with Mary"
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Johnny Brainwash @johnnybrainwash.bsky.social · 5 mo
me yelling PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP as I slam the door in their faces
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Amy A @lolennui.bsky.social · 5 mo
Bursting into tears as a federal agent shows me printouts of all my posts mentioning ska