Ed: The Cybertruck car wash thing is even worse than you think. Even though they created a “Car Wash Mode”, simply driving through a car wash voids the warranty EVEN IF YOU USE CAR WASH MODE

The Cybertruck car wash thing is even worse than you think. Even though they created a “Car Wash Mode”, simply driving through a car wash voids the warranty EVEN IF YOU USE CAR WASH MODE

Had the same thought bsky.app/profile/half...

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoidprolonged exposure to Cybertruck. Caution: Cybertruck may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Do not taunt Cybertruck.

Tesla reminds you that the cybertruck will never threaten to stab you, and in fact, can not speak

It’s a good bit!

The recall for accelerators getting stuck made it too easy.

Is it a bit, or is it just sound advice?

Unlike Happy Fun Ball, it’s perfectly OK and safe to taunt the Cybertuck.

This thing is bulletproof! Don’t get to close to it with the scary pressure washer, though, it’s just a smol cyberbean.

I want to see a video of someone blasting holes into the side of a cybertruck with a power washer now

Also do not feed them after midnight.

Ah yes my car is weak to… hot water

Look, the cannibal hordes are going to be shooting *arrows* at it, not hot water! You have to prioritize strengths for more-probable circumstances!

SP I’m dying

“DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL”

Uh-oh. Everyone has been taunting Happy Cybertruck.

Full Self Driving Autopilot that you need to constantly pay attention to & be ready to take over with a moment's notice. Got it.

So to recap: There is removable trim on the accelerator that will turn it into a land missile but this truck will also disintegrate in a car wash. This will be mentioned in the same breath as the Edsel

Waiting for the Tesla Stan to arrive and argue that it doesn't actually disintegrate, die on that hill, insist they hate Elon, but have to correct you because you're "wrong."

I may have one on the hook here! 😁 bsky.app/profile/shad...

Isn't that literally how you hand wash *any* car? Look, the Cybertruck is dumb as shit but let's not pretend like instructions for a normal hand wash are outlandish. There are plenty of good reasons to make fun of this pile of razor blades, like the tail light that gets less visible when braking.

I just called the cybertruck a dumb piece of shit and you think I'm an elon stan? I'm genuinely offended.

"Everyone who says I'm wrong is an Elon stan And Other Short Stories"

I mean, I called it.

tell me more about this tail light ...

Dude. Read. This is you.

“Well, actually it immolates, it’s does not disintegrate”

"Unscheduled Rapid Disassembly"

This. Right here! Seems like a new thing. Musk haters "correcting" people on Musk products.

I think it will replace the Edsel in those usages.

You know where these would perform great? On the moon. Can't rust if there's no atmosphere.

I hear you but did the Edsel maim or kill anyone? Or turned itself into a land missile?

Yeah, the Edsel wasn't actually a bad car, it was just a gas hog and unattractive to most everybody.

I read, in the last couple days, that Tesla cars maimed or killed more people than the exploding Ford Pinto cars did back then.

I read that too. I would be inclined to believe it.

Well yeah, it's a Cybertruck you have to get it Cyberwashed at a Tesla Cyberwashing Cyberstation. They haven't made any yet but they will as soon as the Mars colony, self-driving taxis and robots are done.

Those things are in line behind the Hyperloop.

Don’t forget the Tesla Roadster. Wasn’t that supposed to be out like 4-5 years ago?

lmfao

I simply love this vehicle, it brings so much joy (to everyone who doesn’t own one)

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that someone can be this incompetent and still survive

The world of the rich is a miniature Idiocracy

*if you're rich and/or willing to exploit a LOT of peoope

and not only survive, but thrive. Elon is now looking at getting full compensation for his incredible work on part of the humanity

Because who else - we got not other geniuses left

Every day, it hits the part of the brain that lights up when you get to say "I told you so" with 120V

I never felt such joy when other people spend tens of thousands of dollars on vanity possessions.

It surpasses even the bored monkey club for frivolousness. But, since it is actually a vehicle, it can kill.

Have people done a Doug Marcaida meme regarding Cybertruck body panels yet?

Every story about this vehicle makes me laugh without fail.

masterful gambit, sir.

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