Flapjack 🥞

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Flapjack 🥞

@flapjacq.bsky.social

Pancake enjoyer
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A man who fakes his wealth paired with a man who fakes his poverty. Sounds about white.
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Most users don't need these tools, but the users who do need them are the ones who draw people to the site. Caring for high-profile users is important for growing a social media site.
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this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang
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They couldn’t make Ferris Bueller’s Day Off today because Cameron’s dad’s car would have to be a Cybertruck
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The customs lady snapped a photo of me at the exact moment I remembered the uneaten apple in my carry on
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Why I am wont to vote
Lmao they just changed the title of the piece from “Why I don’t vote” to “Why I won’t vote” rather than tell readers that the guy actually does vote
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You can leave the 4 hour conference banquet early if u want
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when i get that feeling i want, sectional ceiling sectional ceiling is something that's over me
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So I can’t be the only person with this problem — I have to lean against my cabinet to reach stuff in my upper cabinets because I am short and have short arms. My hip starts my dishwasher when the button gets pressed at inconvenient times. And I fixed it, with an elevator button cover.
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Men are fr like wile e coyote running into a tunnel painted on a wall but about eye and lipliner
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Love the logic of immersion blender: instead of putting your stuff in a blender, put a blender in your stuff
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great news if your attorney general is too busy doing culture war to be a credible threat:
if you don't refund me by EOD Monday I'm filing a complaint with the CFPB and I'm initiating a charge back. I sent the email at 7:31pm ET. They emailed me at 7:34pm to say they were refunding me. I have been asking them to refund me since May 28th. One CFPB complaint threat and it took 3 min.
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Putting my flag right side up to piss off the neighbors
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“When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in a customized Punisher flag and carrying a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” —Upton Sinclair, 1931
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Low level government employee: fuck, they’re gonna figure out I accepted this free chicken wing Alito: today I put strobe lights on my confederate flag
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"capitalism is a system which guarantees the worst possible product at the highest possible price" is an accurate statement that will get you banned from every media outlet on earth
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I like how corporate media thought one lady helping some students organize their campus was a more dangerous threat to Democracy than the mayor of NYC being in a group chat with a bunch of billionaires telling him where to send the riot cops
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Inside of you is a kiki and a bouba
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Someone stole my fucking Nettie pot & while obviously this requires antibiotics I STILL feel like the pot would have helped. I’ll never really forgive that dumb bitch; She was convinced it was a fancy tea pot & is a clepto. She’s not in our sorority anymore for a reason. She drank my snot so… 💅🏽
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If you have time to learn, you have time to clearn
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The commercialization office introduced me, an academic, to a company that wanted to know if I had any spare grant funding for them
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a piece of the future of the humanities, if there is one, is to find the para-faculty in your midst and support their continued intellectual development.
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Wet he people, says the back of the truck in fancy script. A bunch of damp guys inside
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remembered another snippet of a dream- was travelling and stayed at a motor lodge called 'The Rando and I' which was incredibly cheap but the catch was you had to share your room with a stranger
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Oh yes, we call our fetus “Little Babby Tables”
"The database would refer users to so-called "crisis pregnancy centers"; fake clinics that do not actually provide women with healthcare, but rather use deception and coercion to scare women away from getting an abortion, even if it necessary for their own health." --- Oh, hell No. On all of it.
Sen. Katie Britt Introduces Bill to Create Federal Database of Pregnant Peoplemeidasnews.com The creepy Alabama Senator wants the federal government to track pregnancies
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Bluesky feature request: mind your own business
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Faculty procession walking past a cop who looks like he wants to bash their puffy little tams in
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