Lindsay

@lindsaylittle.bsky.social

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Can’t swim
Can’t dance
Doesn’t know karate

Posts Replies Media

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Lindsay

No one dares to talk about how slutty dinosaurs were

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Lindsay

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Lindsay

i'm not laughing at you, or with you, i'm laughing all over you... you're covered in it

it’s ok if you laugh at me bc i’m laughing with you

Drive with my hands at 10 and 2? What am I? Rich? If you drive with one hand at 12 and close one eye you can’t see any of the flashing lights on your dash.

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Lindsay

To catch a plane you must think like a plane

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Lindsay

Let's Get Ready To Ramble

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Lindsay

how dare you accuse me of being a bad gardener. that plant should have tried harder

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Lindsay

Everything I know about myself tells me that I would have fallen for the Trojan Horse.

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Lindsay

the recorded drive thru greeting that I tried to talk to has left my grip on reality in shambles.

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Lindsay

why does every gif search have like maybe 5 relevant gifs and then an unending descent into baby face south korean guys

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Lindsay

No babe, I love when the eggs get cold from you not sitting on them. I bet our kids are gonna be smart

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Lindsay

I’m at work asking the important questions like what goes on here and who are all you people

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Lindsay

oh frick

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Lindsay

[millennial texting 911] hey, sorry to bother! a guy just cut off some other guy's leg lol. are you too busy to come by? no pressure.

Shampoo and conditioner Sham and Con Wake up honey, new conspiracy theory just dropped

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Lindsay

I’m not Owen Wilson I’m the kid from the vape vine

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Lindsay

It’s not enough to talk me into something I need to be LURED

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Lindsay

I just witnessed a double murder (6 crows)

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Lindsay

*pronounces steak like beak*

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Lindsay

I would make a good cat because I also pause in the middle of a fight to lick my own shoulder real fast

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Lindsay

MECHANIC: you need a new tail light FIREFLY: oh no

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Lindsay

Snap: i'm snap Crackle: i'm crackle Pop: hi snap and crackle i'm pop

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Lindsay

if a salesman comes to your door with nutritional supplements be sure to invitamin

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Lindsay

troll your friends by sending them songs from artists they introduced you to like "wow you gotta check this artist out"

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Lindsay

ME: *points at my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug* CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug* ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*

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Lindsay

cursed word suggestion for chest acne: chimples

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Lindsay

Who called it a dick pic and not a dicture

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Lindsay

Nice truck nuts bro how many DUIs you got?

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Lindsay

Found a message in a bottle washed up on the beach: "Please dispose of this bottle responsibly. I’m marooned on a desert island with no bins. Thanks."