alber

I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons

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alber

Requiem For A Dream… On Ice

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alber

Reply to

To this day, ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball

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alber

Feeding my bunny lettuce like he’s the ticket counter at Chuck E. Cheese’s 🐰🖤

i contracted pneumonia and died before you could respond…please respond

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alber

I went off-roading once and had about 10 orgasms.

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alber

We are the granddaughters of the Baja you could not Blast

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alber

What if Joe Biden is in a Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me-esque scenario where someone stole his mojo and he just needs to get it back? Something to mull over

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alber

neil gaiman did that shit

ur not gonna “get my goad” dude i don’t even know what that is

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alber

The way I act when I have a crush is very not on brand

there’s still a chance for biden if mike pence has the courage

What we are watching is the establishment candidate being abandoned by portions of the establishment. Nothing more nothing less.

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alber

[me, tryna fit in on bsky] these nuts!

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alber

We used to spend hours burping Tupperware containers. You kids should have never let us olds take the wheel

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alber

What do you want me to do actually achieve my goals like some kind of freak?

why would i be into an author who literally ripped off metallica? i prefer original stuff tbh

getting a second asshole so i can tell everyone i have two opinions

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alber

I don’t really care if you “knew” ahead of time that a predator was a bad person (because you didn’t, you just didn’t get along with them or thought they were annoying), and I reserve the right to still think you’re a piece of shit

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alber

i think i could survive the hadron collider

hey @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com i just found a really cool short pier that you could take a long walk off of 😎

i think i could survive the hadron collider