Optimist Primus

@optimistprimus.bsky.social

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Working class zero. He/him

Remember, everything is temporary. Laugh every chance you get and enjoy life in all it's beautiful absurdity. Dance along the edge. We're all in this together.

Hate has no home here.

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Optimist Primus

I guess at some point I’m going to have to break down and wash the ravioli out of my beard

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crazy: they have wal-marts in hell and they’re literally exactly the same as on earth

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Optimist Primus

schrödinger choosing “all of the above” to every question on a multiple choice test

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Optimist Primus

That which lasts needs to be destroyed. That which fades quickly needs to be preserved.

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Optimist Primus

i can't believe the days just keep coming and they don't stop coming, this is so fucked

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Optimist Primus

werewolf who explains to you, in a condescending tone, that it's not the light of a full moon that causes them to shift but it's actually the sunlight reflecting off the full moon that causes them to shift

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Optimist Primus

Did you hear what just happened? It was in the news. Something terrible. Just awful. Oh, you're going to be so upset when I tell you about it. Are you ready? Let me know when you're ready so I can tell you about it.

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Optimist Primus

Oh no I wasted the entire day relaxing

Here's what trips me out. I was in a big car accident about 15 years ago, (no one was hurt but my car was totaled). So is there a universe where I died? There must be. And if every action creates a new split, do I only exist because other me died? Or am I the catalyst?

Who up thinking about the multiverse theory as the edible kicks in?

On the next Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: youtu.be/XCz2g_4N7qQ?...

Around the World in 80 Plates - Portlandiayoutu.be

Who up thinking about the multiverse theory as the edible kicks in?

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Optimist Primus

My body is falling apart but my mind is like hey look at us we match

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Optimist Primus

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. ~Iain Thomas

Every time I take a few days away from this site, when I log back in I have no idea what everyone's talking about lol. Feels like that dream where I have a test in a class I didn't attend all semester. Bluesky moves fast, I gotta keep up.

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Optimist Primus

The only RNC I care about is some Really Nice Cannabis

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Optimist Primus

My pet peeve with existing/not existing in the Quantum Realm is when you invite Wave over for dinner…and they show up as Particle? Like, get your shit together, bro. So rude.

Gotta love LinkedIn notifications - someone you never heard of posted some corporate nonsense you may want to read! - you may know this person! (no mutual connections, also not in your industry or near your location) - someone viewed your profile! (6 months ago, and we won't say who)

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Optimist Primus

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Optimist Primus

there should be a huge rabbit that busts into your house and eats your phone

One time my history teacher in high school made an answer key to one of his tests with all the wrong answers, left it on his desk, and left the room. So 3/4 of the class (not me) copied it and failed. Then he was like, "you learned 2 lessons today: 1 - don't cheat and 2 - think for yourself" Lol.

Not saying I'm getting old or anything, but my injuries used to be from things like skateboarding or mosh pits and these days they're from things like sneezing too hard or somehow sleeping wrong.

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Optimist Primus

To the uninitiated it will look I have been cleaved in twain when in reality the two sides of my body have mutually decided that they’ve had a good run together and parted ways as the sword passes harmlessly through the air where they used to meet

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Optimist Primus

Watching CHRISTINE. It's about a car that can drive itself and sometimes kills people. Such a fanciful notion. I sure am glad it didn't turn out to be a chilling prediction of things to come.

Them: Life doesn't come with an instruction manual Me: mine does

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Optimist Primus

i exist in the space between the atoms

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Optimist Primus

Living for the bit; like haha I’m alive lol

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Optimist Primus

MARK ANTONY: friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! FRIENDS: okay ROMANS: fine COUNTRYMEN: sure MARK ANTONY: i have come to bury caesar, not to praise him FRIENDS: i can’t hear anything ROMANS: is he talking right now COUNTRYMEN: what

Very cool that my brain categorizes the names of people I just met as 'useless information to be immediately discarded,' but minor insignificant mistakes are 'crucial information to be remembered in vivid detail for the next 20 years, preferably right before falling asleep.'

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Optimist Primus

Looking for a way to beat the heat? Follow these simple steps: Enter the dark forest. Lie down on the cool moss. Become one with the stillness. Let the plant slip in between the atoms of your body and intertwine, until you become one. Rest, forever.

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happy fourth of july