Phi

@phi.bsky.social

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Autistic as shit.

My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaanzcffq2yz6

Discord: phi6754

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Phi

Nearest city to me is Sunderland in rhe UK and the one thing you absolutely have to do in Sunderland is leave

Let's have some fun on Bluesky tonight! Tell me where you live and one thing everyone should do in your city! #flythefriendlysky

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Phi

you’re telling me about the birds and the bees? the two things i’m most terrified of?

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Phi

“popular” with “friends”

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Phi

That music video with Lil Dickey and Chris Brown where they body swap wouldn't work for me because if I woke up in Chris Brown's body I'd do the world a favor and shoot myself in the head.

I like when a rabbit has the ears like this: ⬅️↗️

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Phi

repost with alt

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Phi

Wake up, there’s lots of fresh outrage in the offing.

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Phi

Sorry for loving you I take it back

Hanster

Meatier loaf

make a band meatier: Soft Shell

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Phi

I asked the hotel for a wake up call and they told me my skinny jeans and red parka make me look like a lollipop

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Phi

One night stand One nightstand Spacing is important if you don’t want to find divorce papers when you arrive home from furniture shopping

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Phi

Strawberry legs, cottage cheese thighs, muffin tops…ladies we are a snack.

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Phi

ear-tagging a touch-starved man and releasing him back into the wild

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Phi

Another tragic day of waking to find that Clarence Thomas has not been eaten by a bear

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Phi

Hot take: Let them keep selling these so I know which neighbors about to get their gas tanks pissed in

Doormat that was recently pulled from sale by Marcket Shirts

Oh these? These aren't airpods. They're cashews.

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Phi

i actually think dinosaurs had figured out democracy towards the end there, no way to know for sure

Sorry I'm late, the groove got me.

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Phi

[Violently kicking down the door of an elderly care nursing facility] I NEED VOLUNTEERS TO RUN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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Phi

Debate drinking game: take a shot for every time you are disappointed, you should have died 27 years ago

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Phi

lol still talking about Poor Things because it blows my mind

Bartender: Why the long face? Me: I'm deeply depressed. Bartender: Oh my God... I'm sorry, I was just- Me: kidding. I'm actually a horse.

Bartender: Why the long face? Me: It was stretched in a horrible industrial accident. Bartender: Oh my god… I’m sorry, I was just- Me: Kidding. I’m just deeply depressed.

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Hush little baby, don’t say a word, look over there, it’s a really cool bird.

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Phi

weak: hogging up arms peak: arming up hogs

The Smashing Blouses

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Phi

lol see yall in the gulag

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Phi

I’ve texted so many friends: “Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” takes place on June 27th. Enjoy your day!” Heheheheheehehe. 🪨

You know what? Next time, I'm gonna tell the fucking cab driver my life story.