Bipolar Boy Detective

@wittiestmanalive.bsky.social

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Meaningful insights from an absurd, petty human being. The Internet's preeminent anti-horse activist.
He/Him.

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Bipolar Boy Detective

At the unveiling ceremony, Eric Adams is flipping switches on the back of ED-209, trying to turn on bluetooth so he can make it play Empire State of Mind and the thing is just blasting the crowd to bits

COMING UP on Channel 7 News at 11: They’re calling it “the Husband Tax.” We’ll tell you why Albany lawmakers COULD use it to replace Congestion Pricing, and what that might mean for YOUR french fries.

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Bipolar Boy Detective

Isn't this a great photo? Please donate and share to help Sarah and her family. ❤️ www.gofundme.com/f/help-sarah...

Please help Sarah and her family. They had dreams they were following and now they're just trying to survive. They're not living, they're desperately trying to escape death. There is a difference between living and survival. Donate if you can, reskeet and quote skeet. Share wherever you can.

Help Sarah Escape the Horrors of Gaza, organized by Yosuf Imad Takunahwww.gofundme.com *Please note that the conversion rate is 1 USD =10 SK 10$ = 100 SK 50$= 50… Yosuf Imad Takunah needs your support for Help Sarah Escape the Horrors of Gaza

I know who needs to hear this, so I’ll tell them myself. Mind your own fuckin business.

I don't know who needs to hear this, so never mind.

the Inside Out characters in my head

tell the haters i said we’re having fun and laughs here on bluesky dot app

People are saying Bluesky doesn't have a sense of humor? Time for me to crank this bad boy up!

Me, a genius: they both suck shit and should fuck off into the sun

NYT: Joe should quit, he stutters Philly Inquirer: Trump is a fucking criminal what the fuck are we doing here

fuck off ghost horse!!

when you start exercising in your late 30s

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Bipolar Boy Detective

In memory of Donald Sutherland, star of the only good version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Kate Bush’s second best music video

Happy Father’s Day to the dad who was always there for me: Spalding Gray

Me, getting ready to talk to Wallace Shawn last night

If you see this, post whatever you want

New Nancy needs to update this with the cops parking 8 patrol cars on the sidewalk with the engines still running while they all stand around playing Candy Crush

The Best Of Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller September 20,1955

Trying to maintain an active social life at my age sucks shit. I’m only in one fuckin group chat and it’s just a bunch of dorks complaining about our local Community Board meetings.

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Bipolar Boy Detective

For a cat this good you’d expect to pay upwards of one million dollars, right? Well, actually, someone chucked her over our back fence for free.

Y’all ready for some next level Passive Voice Headline action?

If any of you Filmsky sweetiepies want to support a homeboy, I kinda feel like I’ve been posting some real bangers on Letterboxd lately and I would appreciate any encouragement boxd.it/6Eaf67

Review of ‘Ford v Ferrari’ (2019) ★★★½boxd.it Some hoity-toity cinephiles will scoff at classifying this as a sports film. But it helps if you consider that these guys were the Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin of giving themselves lead poisoning...

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Bipolar Boy Detective

I swear to god, every 5 or 6 months for the last decade I have bumped into this fucking clown on the street, completely by happenstance. And every time it is like seeing a cartoon dinosaur trying to parallel park, just ridiculous and unreal.

You say we are “friends,” and yet you have never invited me on your podcast 🤔

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Bipolar Boy Detective

I needed to see this in the theater, but I was 15. So my dad had to accompany me. Before the movie, he said, "Let's not make this any weirder than it is. We're going to be mature about it. I'm going to sit apart from you, and afterward we're not going to talk about it." Which only made it weirder?

What's the most awkward movie you've watched with your parent(s)? #FilmSky🎥

A guy on 7th ave pointed at me as I walked past and said, “Maaan, you look like Peter Parker!” and I think my body dysmorphia is cured now?

a very popular and universally accepted opinion i have is that anyone who has ever had a pet with special needs should be allowed to line up and choke this fucking pig until his motherfucking eyes pop out

Missouri cop summoned to aid a blind, deaf, 13-pound Shih Tzu. The dog had gotten lost. You know what happened next. www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/...

An officer was called to help a blind, deaf dog. He shot him instead.www.washingtonpost.com Teddy, a 13-pound dog, had escaped his outdoor kennel in Sturgeon, Mo., when police came to help find his owner. The city found no wrongdoing by the officer.

y’know what? i have some pretty fuckin great ideas actually. AND i’m super funny. i should get drunk more often haha

alexa play “Layla [Piano Exit]” by derek & the dominoes

NO FUCKING WAY

People love to make up cute ways that their state’s drivers are somehow uniquely bad. “Ha ha sometimes we don’t use the blinker until right as we turn into the off-ramp, we call that a Virginia Signal.” All drivers do that. Your state didn’t invent bullshit moves. Every state sucks at driving.

Tonight, America’s most merciless pastime rekindles one of the nation’s oldest rivalries: old timey prospectors versus their xenophobic fears of indigenous people

bitch ass horse can die mad about it

books are back and angry (back cover in replies)