April Wolfe

@aprilwolfe.bsky.social

2029

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522

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305

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Bette Davis eyes. Make movies. Comb cats. Michigandery. WGAW. I'm with UTA and XYZ.

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April Wolfe

🎵🎶 Life is a highway 🎶🎵 🎶🎵 It should be maintained 🎵🎶 🎵🎶 With public funds 🎶🎵

marine le peen

A woman has been mailing handwritten letters to my husband to invite him into the Jehovah's Witness fold. We are trying to figure out why she randomly selected him for this endeavor.

I dunno guys one candidate called Hannibal Lecter “a wonderful man.” Hannibal Lecter isn’t a real person.

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April Wolfe

lol www.nytimes.com/2024/07/05/w...

Vatican Excommunicates Its Former Ambassador to the U.S.www.nytimes.com Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò, who was informed of his excommunication on Friday, has long been a vocal critic of Pope Francis.

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April Wolfe

Gotta be so cool to be a centrist or a fascist. You get to take turns being in power while crying the whole time about how the left kept you from power (?)

You ever feel like the ATF is maybe not the smartest agency?

“The automated ammunition dispenser uses artificial intelligence technology to verify a buyer’s identification and age through card scanning and facial recognition software.” 💀

Vending machines selling bullets at grocery storeswww.cleveland.com American Rounds offers vending machines, powered by artificial intelligence, that are selling ammo for guns at grocery stores in Alabama and Oklahoma.

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April Wolfe

This man did not vote in 2020 because he was killed in the Blitz

Hopefully someone will check the Michigan voter file to see if it is true that this lad does not vote

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April Wolfe

Not to be corny but I do think the ongoing aspiration to make America a pluralist democracy of equals is righteous, beautiful, and worth honoring, even if it has more often been the struggle of minorities & dissenters than the policy of the government. 🇺🇸

Is Keir Starmer good? I can't tell with that villain-coded name.

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It also makes me feel insane that the rat fuck around Biden’s age and mental capacity is being uncritically spread around by Democrats when Trump is *incredibly obviously* grotesquely mentally incapacitated, in a way that is genuinely terrifying.

It makes me feel very much unmoored from reality to see all this *buying into* the Biden Too Old ratfuck narrative, days after the Supreme Court ruled that Trump gets to be dictator for life, just weeks after Trump became a convicted felon (oh, and there’s the Epstein stuff that just came out).

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April Wolfe

there's a certain irony that liberals who have spent four years yelling at leftists who criticize Biden at all for any reason have now, in one week, done more damage to Biden's candidacy than all those leftists combined

I think the freakout has been absurd and overblown and far more damaging than the debate itself, which would have been survivable if everyone had been willing to circle the wagons and push back on it I am, from a purely pragmatic standpoint, extremely concerned that the damage cannot be overcome

Jesus. When I first moved to Boise, one of the things I loved about it was how the main library had this huge sign that just read "library!" with the exclamation mark. I went in, and everyone was rad and happy. It's tough to think about how much worse things have gotten in Idaho since.

This is one of the most dystopian signs I've ever seen. Republicans are quickly turning this country into an unrecognizable freakshow.

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April Wolfe

TONIGHT: It’s another all-new Completely Mediocre Bullshit You’ve Completely Forgotten About marathon! 2+ hours of movie trailers from films left behind in the video store wastelands. 2000s thrillers, 90s ensemble casts, 80s Oscarbait, 70s sleaze + MORE! Streams live on Tues 7/2 @ 7:30pm Pacific!

TRAILER 200vimeo.com This is "TRAILER 200" by Museum of Home Video on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.

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April Wolfe

I've said it before but I'm genuinely grateful for JK Rowling as a very public example of how trans misogyny rots both your brain and your soul. She's like those anti-drug ads that were just photos of meth users' mouths

Sorry wouldn’t normally put her on the timeline but this might be the most insane thing j k rowlings ever written

All my lefty buddies have already resigned themselves to voting for Biden for reasons like his judicial picks and not liking even more fascism, but somehow centrists are all wait wait no one told us he was old?!?! It’s crazy making.

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April Wolfe

I think about this line a lot these days.

Ok we definitely have a coyote den right next to our door, as confirmed by the most adorable coyote pups playing by our door this morning. Love em. Love the wild. So is there any way to move a coyote family along so you can leave the house regularly?

It's a good sign when a coyote howls next to your window at 4am two nights in a row, and when you look out the window, it comes closer and locks eyes with you, right? Anyway, we might have a coyote den in the crawlspace of our house.

Meditating on this today

The Joe Pera special has given me so much, like the phrase “cubes for my boys” and the sense that what I am really lacking in my life is gentle musical accompaniment. “Slow comedy” is the future, people!

Fuck it, move over Cocomelon, I'm gonna make the baby watch Dawson City: Frozen Time and blow her fucking mind.

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April Wolfe

brb making a "ridin' with Biden into the glue factory" tshirt

Joekanda forever.

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April Wolfe

AI has unlocked a level of facebook pandering previously unknown to science

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Los Angeles City Council members came in on a Saturday to express their intentions in the aftermath of the Supreme Court criminalizing sleep. Evil never takes a day off.

I was watching an episode of Psych and this really familiar woman showed up and I couldn’t place where I knew her from and then I realized she’s a lady from NXIVM.

Anyone else have a dental hygienist harass you for an hour about flossing until you cried even tho you told her you had other things keeping you busy like your baby almost dying? No? Just me?

Mother-in-law’s review of The Bear: “Is anyone gonna eat this food or what?”

A lot of things make more sense about Karen Bass when you understand that she is a friend to Scientology. Like technically Scientology has nothing to do with mask bans or camping bans and other shitty policies she champions but also it kinda does? Hard to explain!

mhhhh

Los Angeles’s Mayor Was Contemplating a Mask Ban. She Just Got Covid.newrepublic.com Karen Bass floated banning masks for protesters days before coming down with Covid-19.