humanbean

@dangerpixel.com

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I'm laughing with you. I write. I live in a fifth wheel traveling the dystopian US.

on discord: routergirl

She/her.

Posts Replies Media Lists

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humanbean

have you all heard of THE RADIUM GIRLS? if you haven’t, go look that up because any post i try to do won’t be enough and will get suppressed. come back when you’re done looking up THE RADIUM GIRLS okay. you done? cool. okay so Clarence Thomas wants to get rid of OSHA

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humanbean

Jeff Bezos and Demi Moore are friends with this guys explosive diarrhea but don't like him so much

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humanbean

Reply to

Sam, back on my bullshit

gonnamakeabreakandtakeafakeIdlikeastinkingachingshakeIlikevanillait'sthefinestoftheflavors

our next rv park is in "bear country" and we have been advised to always have bear spray i am equal parts worried and excited about this

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humanbean

a hotdog with the power to forgive

Does anybody ever think about how weird it is that we will often put big ass tanks in children’s parks

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humanbean

Convinced that no one will ever love me based on my rudimentary understanding of how a compass works

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humanbean

We only celebrate the 4th so white people can gather and eat mayonnaise

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humanbean

*shoots a hot dog out of a bun like a blow dart*

If Finn could speak he would sound like Joe Pesci and it’s totally normal to decide which famous person your dog talks like

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humanbean

i do have an idea that i think would greatly help with the fact that this website is never going to be well moderated, if anyone wants to make the tool

i think that it's possible that the best way to do mutelists on here would be to make a tool that checks if users are following certain accounts and mutes them if they are, but does this on a customized and per user scale instead of making one big list for everyone ala the wil wheaton twitter one

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humanbean

HAPPY **TENTH** ANNIVERSARY TO THE GREATEST POP SONG EVER RECORDED www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jlnt...

Dilly dong cumminwww.youtube.com YouTube video by helldude

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humanbean

A John Wick movie where he goes around assassinating people whose fireworks are upsetting the local dogs.

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humanbean

Buying my Cybertruck from Temu

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humanbean

The chicken crossed the road because fuck you, that’s why

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humanbean

I came to my 14 year old with a concern about social media. He literally took his glasses off, rubbed his temples, and asked: “what have the moms on the internet said now?” 😯🫤😆

I am both mom and dudebro

just me then? ok ok fair i get it

i have realized we are using the wrong names for rooms in a house from now on a restroom is where your bed is instead of kitchen it is now an eatroom bathroom is fine if you have a bath tub otherwise it should be showerroom

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humanbean

First I came up with Turdis Industries with its police box themed sani cans Now, Shid Shed

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humanbean

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humanbean

running in my own piss, im hamstermaxxing

this is a poll do I... 1. eat the pies 2. freeze the pies 3. something else

I ordered two gluten free pies to take to my cousins for the fourth but she has covid and canceled everything and here we are in a place where we know no one else I wonder if cranberry lemon custard pie and dutch apple pie would freeze well or if we are going to have to eat all the pie

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humanbean

Guy that posts his Subaru Outback for wagon Wednesday

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humanbean

Look dudes, if you wanna land some babes you have to at least spellcheck your dating bios This message brought to you by:

Apparently being on dating apps in your thirties means you just get to see a lot of sad, divorced men trauma dump all over their profiles and your DMs ... No thank you.

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humanbean

if your instinct is "calm down, surely this is an exaggeration," allow me to assure you that it's really not

"Don't worry, if the president imprisons his political enemies, you can still get a writ of habeas corpus." "But to prove that's why you've been imprisoned requires proof of..." "Presidential motive!" "And under Trump v US, presidential motive is..." "Inadmissible!"

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humanbean

a cop shot himself and this is the headline they went with

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humanbean

That was the best age of AI, when it didn’t exist.

AI was so much more interesting when it didn't exist

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humanbean

Man I am gonna stab every single one of these fuckers

Heritage Foundation president celebrates Supreme Court presidential immunity ruling: "We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be" www.mediamatters.org/project-2025...

Heritage Foundation president celebrates Supreme Court immunity decision: "We are in the process of the second American Revolution"www.mediamatters.org

i wouldnt shit you, you're my favorite turd