Haplo

Haplo

@haplo.bsky.social

1889

Posts

PRONOUNS: they, she

NOUNS: higher ed acessibility specialist, Masshole, nerd, burner, artist, leftist(?), dachshund & cat carer

ADJECTIVES: white, queer, exvangelical, neurodivergent

VERBS: hyperfocus, craft, mask, post

I 💜 heavily
📝 please alt-text

Posts Replies Media

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desperately need some teenager on tiktok with her hair piled up into the biggest claw clip Five Below sells to break down, with the dispassionate accountancy of a coroner, exactly what procedures and unguents Matt has applied to get himself into this state

The fact that these photos were taken one (1) day apart… Man saw his photos from yesterday and decided to get emergency Botox before his speech today.

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And if we ever want to change corporate behavior, we need to put an even greater value on human pain and suffering.

The McDonalds coffee lady deserved way more money than she got. McDonalds knew the coffee was too hot, had been sued multiple times before, and when the lady originally reached out to them she only wanted money to cover her medical expenses which included skin grafts.

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NEW: A North Atlantic right whale has been spotted off the coast of Ireland for the first time in more than a century!! 🐳 I spoke to one of the people who saw it. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

North Atlantic right whale seen off Ireland for first time in 114 yearswww.theguardian.com There are fewer than 400 of critically endangered species left and sighting gives ‘glimmer of hope’

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Joe Biden: I'm sick Next tweet is a video of him pulling a 360 half finger flip to switch foot pogo

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Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir)

fuck Starbucks but truth is important

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I don't understand, how did President Biden catch COVID, he told me (over and over and over and over and over again) that he Ended The Pandemic

President Biden has tested positive for COVID

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I appreciate how my timeline delivered two cryptic “shit what happened now” prompts and then an immediate explanation. Convenient.

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joe biden phased out covid protections instead of phasing out covid and now he has to live with the consequences so many others have had to face

Did everyone forget that COVID is still everywhere?

everyone is allowed a conspiracy theory and mine is that he doesn't actually have COVID, it's just a very good cover to let him step down with honor My previous one, that the shooter was a dumbass trying to use his gunsight as binoculars and only shot by accident, sadly doesn't hold up to evidence

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Really think about what that means- it means that Israel continues to control the lives of all Palestinians without them having any say in their future. Would you accept this for yourself?

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This doesn't even qualify as the dodgeball of prophecy, it's just cause and fucking effect.

Watching Biden take the stage in Wisconsin and that dude is definitely getting covid before summer is done.

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But SCOTUS said presidents have total immunity

President Biden has tested positive for COVID

holy shit

President Biden has tested positive for COVID

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love 2 steal bird memes from the birder discord

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Who needs to hear GWAR do a cover of "I'm Just Ken"? I know I did. I bet you do, too. youtu.be/TE_ju8eWTS8?...

GWAR cover "I'm Just Ken" (from 'Barbie The Album') by Ryan Goslingyoutu.be GWAR cover "I'm Just Ken" (from 'Barbie The Album') by Ryan Gosling Recorded at Second Take Sound in midtown Manhattan https://www.secondtakesound.com/ The Berserker Blóthar - Vocals BälSäc the Jaws ‘o Death - Guitar and Keys Beefcake the Mighty - Bass Guitar JiZMak da Gusha - Drums Grodius Maximus - Guitar Brad Wagner - Director Juan Soria - Audio Engineer Reed Turchi - Audio Engineer Charlie Peterson - Camera Operator Bobby Phillips - Audio Mixer

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“Biden claiming he’s done the most for Palestinians is like an arsonist taking credit for tossing a splash of water on the fire he’s still fueling”

Biden’s claim he’s done ‘more for Palestinian community than anybody’ prompts backlashwww.theguardian.com Activists condemn president’s remark as Israel continues to attack Gaza and death toll crests 38,000

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Through no fault of their own, the Glasgow WorldCon has to manage the reputational damage done by McCarty et al egregious rules violations. If only some big name author would provide the con with an easy way to show Glasgow hews to the rules under all circumstances.

sometime in the file sharing days I got an mp3 of this labeled "gay version" and the only change was someone had cut in themselves saying "cock" loudly so the chorus went I would swallow my COCK I would choke on the COCK But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside Swallow my COCK etc

some of you have never put your tender heart in a blender watch it spin 'round to a beautiful oblivion and it shows

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omfg, babe! your alt text is so good *kissing you all over* you never miss a post *pulling off your shirt* i just really need you right now. *struggling with the pants* babe can you make these accessible too?

Alt text is so hot

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Howard Ashman stan account

I definitely think lots of people are too eager demonize and dismiss all men in broad terms and that this leaves many young men feeling like the only place where they feel listened to in any way is communities of aggrieved, angry, anti-social men. And saying testosterone = evil poison sucks shit.

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Howard Ashman stan account

I bring this up because I am also deeply sick of the increasingly common presumption that masculinity always = bad, but at the same time I am struck by how many men clearly buy into the notion that it isn't real masculinity UNLESS it is misogynistic, homophobic, and preoccupied with dominance

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Any issue you might want to agitate for runs the risk of PETA syndrome: acting like such a piece of shit that nobody cares that you’re right. Your public conduct is so important no matter what you’re fighting for, and how this escapes so many people is really baffling to me.

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Okay, this is why I’m an alt-text warden and will not stop: When I was 32, an Ophthalmologist diagnosed me with the genetic version of glaucoma, which is a risk factor I have. I was at the pre-treatment phase, so all we could do was watchful waiting because glaucoma is a neural damage. 1/

if forgetting to fill out paperwork makes the news these days, the Guardian owes me several pages of space

His "efforts," I remind, did not include filling out the form I and apparently 2,000(!) other people did.

Game of Thrones’ George RR Martin falls foul of Glasgow sci-fi event’s strict ruleswww.theguardian.com Author’s efforts to take part apparently stymied by application protocol, but he still plans to attend Worldcon

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Protip: for any cis people who don’t already know, the phrase “this person” is an extremely obvious way transhobes often degender and/or misgender trans people. you should generally not use that phrasing. especially if you are criticizing someone who happens to be trans.

this person every god damn time

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Y’all do realize these papers ran ads for slave auctions, put out notices for runaway slaves, argued in favor of Jim Crow for decades, opposed MLK & the civil rights movement, and still foment crime panics which built the carceral system, & remain tentpole institutions right?

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an underrated plus of living in Boston is that absolutely no one believes this

People, I beg of you, please stop assuming someone who went to an Ivy is smart

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we introduced automatic posting breaks in the last update btw. we wrote a computer thingy that scans your recent activity and if you are cooking too hard your account is deactivated for 30 days

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The wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers are great at a jump! they'll bound as high as a rooftop and take out ex-pres- *Jack Black slaps my phone to the ground*