simone: i think the "*x thing* would instantly kill a victorian child" meme is incorrect, i think the victorian children could handle it, but i do think a cool ranch dorito (for example) WOULD instantly kill H.P. Lovecraft

i think the "*x thing* would instantly kill a victorian child" meme is incorrect, i think the victorian children could handle it, but i do think a cool ranch dorito (for example) WOULD instantly kill H.P. Lovecraft

me (standing over his frail body as he shakes in fear): who, me? im from the future hp lovecraft (who just ate a doritos locos taco): *cough* i dont understand… me: & you never will. (takes his cat) what a cutie! i think i’ll name him… ACAB *lovecraft screams for help as i enter the time machine*

I think me kissing my white lesbian girlfriend would cause him to burst a blood vessel and die on the spot.

When I was a teenaged biracial goth I'd take a shot of salmari evey time I read an anti miscegenation screed in a Lovecraft story

I thank you for thinking of that poor cat.

not his fault he got that name.

returning to the present to read the resulting tale of cosmic horror, At The Mountains of Dew

Actually, he'd probably like it if you named the cat ACAB cuz the vast majority of cops in his time were Irish and he fucking HATED the Irish

HPL shaking and crying as he writes a story about a guy imprisoned inside his own body by an otherworldly alien mind that wants to shop in the World Foods aisle at the store

Just saying the word "Dorito" would do it, I bet.

Literally this lol

Hell, the Taco Bell chihuahua would eat him alive

Victorian children ate one carrot a week and were given a bottle of laudanum to make them go to sleep, I think they could handle a dorito

exactly my point

Well, the carrot was boiled to smithereens, but the laudanum was full strength.

HP Lovecraft would have quote tweeted the anti Mexican food thread

Not instantly but he'd have time to type a letter to August Derleth or Robert E Howard palpitating about the queer angles of the dorito chip and its indescribable color and taste.

As an official Providence Author: can confirm

an author of bless’d Providence

Any soul food would kill him and cause his body to burst into flame

True but like, seeing a muslim lady with headscarf out in publc would instantly kill H.P. Lovecraft; he didn't handle stuff outside his normal worldview very well

He kinda did. Lovecraft traveled as widely as his means allowed, from New York to New Orleans, Key West to Quebec, & met lots of folks all along the way. HPL was prejudiced and that shouldn't be ignored, but he wasn't going to have a heart attack just because he saw someone different on the street.

It is popular these days to portray Lovecraft as a cartoon caricature of a racist; the exaggerated accusations tend to fall flat when you look at what he really wrote about his experiences. They aren't nice, but they aren't funny either. Like when he visited Harlem: deepcuts.blog/2021/02/06/d...

Deeper Cut: Lovecraft in Harlemdeepcuts.blog Late night in Harlem on a Friday and the streets more full than at rush hour. Tommy Tester cherished the closeness, to his father and to all the bodies on the sidewalks, in their cars, riding buses, p...

Oddly, that might not bother him because Lovecraft was a fanboy of middle eastern culture. His character Abdul Al-Hazred (author of the Necronomicon), is a self-insert character that he made up for himself as a child

Dude was scared of air conditioning. A cool breeze would kill him.

Imagine giving him Juaritos or making him look at containers of food with multilingual labeling

I could kill HP Lovecraft instantly with a taco.

Any beverage besides milk lovingly served by his dear mother would have done him in

If only H.P. Loveraft had choked on a Dorito and died while writing a racist screed shrouded in esotericism.

Reading a recipe for sriracha sauce would have driven him insane

Wayyyy too "ethnic" for him. He'd pass out and die at the sheer thought of even the most Americanized "Mexican" food. A Dorito? Speak English!!

Yeah, but like, that's barely a challenge. He was nearly rendered comatose by the ✨️existence✨️ of air conditioning.

He would call it something so racist his head would explode

I'd like to read a short story by him on the insane geometry of it tho

banger

Since he most likely had terrible stomach cancer for years, absolutely!

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