Chestbursty

@chestrovert.bsky.social

891

Followers

570

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2695

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I'm not exactly what you'd call "novelty corn cob holder rich"
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g

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Chestbursty

shiver me god damned timbers i love USB-C

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Chestbursty

One of the things they don’t tell you about being a white guy is that sometimes you meet another white guy and he seems chill and you strike up a convo and then like twenty minutes later that guy will just float out a teeeeny bit of hate speech just to test the waters

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Chestbursty

Hope

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Chestbursty

Imagine not having multiple creative processes to craft shitposts

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Chestbursty

The worst part about dying has to be missing the look on your family's faces when they realize you've bankrupted them so you could have your remains launched into space

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Chestbursty

Self-Harm

Labeled by Bluesky Moderation Service

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Chestbursty

How much extra does it cost to get a dominatrix to rub your scalp and tell you how brave you are?

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Chestbursty

When should you give it away, give it away, give it away? Now.

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Chestbursty

I am the kind of person you show your rash, not your ween.

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Chestbursty

Oh, Discover tab. You got me again you rascal! Gave me such a fright.

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Chestbursty

Replying “Fuck U” to any verification code texts I receive

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Chestbursty

return to a time when we understood that just because a person’s reply wasn’t entirely sufficient, it doesn’t make our own position empirically correct figuring out truth or what’s best isn’t one & done it’s ongoing with mutual desire for the correct outcome & it doesn’t involve memes & screenshots

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Chestbursty

Behold, the u-cumber

lookathis fucked up cucumber

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Chestbursty

My eyes used to dance and twinkle but it’s nbd

Reply to

Super(kim)star!

That's so fucked up. I'm sorry, friend.

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Chestbursty

almost stopped my dog from pissing on my phone but yknow what he's got a point

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Chestbursty

Peaceful.

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Chestbursty

i love eating fresh at subway restaurants

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Chestbursty

you thought a toothpick in the mouth was cool? wait until you see me walking around with a q tip dangling from my ear

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Chestbursty

Uh yeah I’m anti-woke, it’s called being a sleepy little guy, being honk shoo pilled, zzzmaxxing

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Chestbursty

They should let monks have glow sticks.

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Chestbursty

I promise you Boris, if you can nail these moves you'll have your pick of the gals at the midwinter ball.

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Chestbursty

kid: I feel funny, mom mom: that’s why we’re sending you to clown school son

wtf is wrong with these people?

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Chestbursty

[nic cage voice] i’m going to steal america’s extended warranty

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Chestbursty

probs gonna use some parts of my brain i don't know about today, wish me luck and check the batteries in your smoke alarms

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Chestbursty

recharging my phone using the friction between all of the people i follow who hate each other

Reply to

chris.

🖤 friend!

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Chestbursty

I went to see my neighbor recently & his friend told me he went on vacation for a couple of weeks. How nice, I thought. All he does is care for his mom 24/7. Just saw him at the mailbox. “How was your vacation?” “Terrible.” “How come?” “I took it in the county jail.”

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Chestbursty

I’m starting a cult where we all read aloud the posts we decided at the last minute not to send and also eat pudding