Chicken Puppet: Gotta hand it to Tesla, realizing your customers are stupid rubes that want to be ripped off is a good business model

Gotta hand it to Tesla, realizing your customers are stupid rubes that want to be ripped off is a good business model

700 hundred dollar hammer. Warning: do not use the hammer to hammer things

You can swing one around in the gym if you want to look like a total buffoon and endanger everyone around you

For $700, that thing had better be Mjölnir. Not a prop, not a model; the actual Mjölnir.

No-one who would buy a Cyberhammer is worth to lift Mjölnir

Mjolnir would fake them out until it was a foot off the ground then reassert itself and yank their arms off

Needs another caution: "Swinging CyberHammer in a gym may result in a lifetime ban from the gym."

I recommend yelling "crypto!" as you twirl about.

And GENERATIVE AI

"AI" sounds like "aj" in Swedish, translating roughly to "ouch"

I have been using the sledgehammer workout since I read about it 20 years ago. But the whole point of that is spending <$20 and doing it at home alone! www.shovelglove.com

Shovelglove: The Sledgehammer Workoutwww.shovelglove.com

can we all appreciate this pristine, updated-but-unchanged internet relic of 2002, when you could spend $35/year (a lot!!) on a domain name and put up a website and people would actually see it?

"gym use"???

-strolls into gym like an 1890's railroad worker Hello Rubes

Do not taunt happy fun ball

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."

Let me guess, it is polystone and not actual metal.

it's pretty fitting that the hammer itself will shatter if you hit a pane of glass with it

I found out today that you can be fined $50,000 or up to the cost of what you made on the sale if you sell your Cybertruck to someone else, and that all of these dipshits simply agreed to these conditions. Honestly I'm amazed any of them remember to breathe.

LOL whaat???

There was a provision in the initial sales contracts that within the first year you had to offer to sell you vehicle back to Tesla (for roughly what you paid for it) before selling it anybody else. It was an anti flipping mechanism. Apparently it's not unique to Tesla either.

That is fucking gross

It's Tesla, so probably. But I also kinda get it. When you are doing a rollout where supply is limited you want thing to go to people who will use them, not to people who intended to immediately sell them for a premium to people looking to skip the line.

"Do not strike hard surfaces with Cyberhammer." I like how Cyberhammer is a pronoun now. "Do not taunt Cyberhammer."

Also from that read, the cybertruck isn't a hard surface.

~The Pentagon: $435 hammer~ elon: CHALENGE ACCEPTED

Appropriate that it’s pictured next to the useless wheel covers they had to replace.

They're not useless! They serve the very important function of making you buy more tires

Dark reboot of Apple 1984 ad

"intended for display or gym use" what

Are the also selling the CyberBall, celebrating the time Elon threw one through the "bulletproof" Cybertruck window?

well, there are dodecahedron truck balls

Pose your $700 collectible next to your $100k collectible.

Someone’s gonna swing that hammer at their Cybertruck, the vehicle will be crippled, the hammer will shatter in their hands causing large gashes on their palms, and they’ll still say they love all of it and Musk.

Hey Cyberhammer - 1994 wants their username back.

Sickos meme, but me watching videos of cybertruck owners hitting their own vehicles with cyberhammers

100% people are going to use this to hammer their Cybertruck.

Do not hammer with happy fun hammer.

“Cyberhammer is final sale” JFC, they can’t be bothered to check the AI language when bilking their customers for $560k.

How long until he starts selling "CyberTruck NUTZ" like:

“Oh that? That’s my 700 dollar nonfunctional display hammer.”

"gym use?"

Probably some stupid crossfit thing.

It’s a hammer. This is literally the purpose of a hammer.

So, it's not *really* a hammer? Kind of like how Cybertruck is not really a truck.

"Gym use"?

Some idiots like to strike oversized tires with sledgehammers to feel...I dunno...something.

Teslabros be all

Collectively, the stupidest people alive. If there was anything such as shame anymore, they should feel it.

I think they meant to say, “designed by an intern on her first day using a CAD program.”

coming soon the cyberbridge limited edition please make cheques payable to CybertruckAssocitesSuperHypededition or CASH for short and post it right away to secure your limited deal offer.

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