Chris Fitzgerald

@cofitzgerald.bsky.social

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I used to be a not very important Capitol Hill person.

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BREAKING: Biden’s Memory Falters Again by Peter Baker

Reporter: Do you remember where you were on August 17, 1997? Biden: Why would I remember that? It was probably recess so I was in Delaware? Reporter: Where were you that day, President Trump? Trump: I was in LA. Yasmin Bleeth was popular then, so of course she was attracted to me. Biden: Jesus.

We were trying to find a movie on Tubi and while searching for a film that began with the letters “BU…” had a film just called “BOOBS” appear, so I guess we’ve reached Idiocracy.

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Chris Fitzgerald

You had me at “exceedingly dry in-jokes for recherché subcultures”

I’m coming to the conclusion that no one who is Trump aligned has ever had good sex.

I really don’t think most people realize just how hard the boot will come down if Trump and the Republicans win the election. Most people have never experienced the totalitarian surveillance state with the power to reach into their homes and minds at will they are telling us is their plan.

Biden should do a slightly altered version of Trump’s common rally rants. Some talking points: - Dean Cain hit on my wife - Trump Vodka caused cancer - Mike Pence likes boys - Mike Johnson invited me to a key party - McConnell’s wife isn’t a citizen How would the Times cover this?

Jennings and I currently touring the Republic of Vermont for when we escape the rump American state to establish the Rebel Alliance.

I wonder who Dash thinks subscribes to the Times and how many of us will react to his organized campaign to kneecap the president because of Dash’s ego.

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Chris Fitzgerald

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Blue Heron Farm

People only cared about the opiate crisis once the whiteys started dropping dead

I will only be angry at Biden if he hadn’t planned for this eventuality which any normal person his age should have done. I’m not saying he should quit. I’m not saying he shouldn’t. But I would have had a plan.

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Chris Fitzgerald

So is this part we repeat history almost a century later and start regarding the NYTimes as less of a “trusted news source” and more “a vital part of the fascist propaganda machine”?

Speaking of people to blame for Trump in the first place…

"The fact that we're going to hold Joe Biden to one standard and Donald Trump to another, which is really no standard at all." - @JoeNBC on The New York Times et al.

NYT: Biden should take a lesson from France’s rightward shift Reality: UK conservatives just got pantsed by a party led by posh Guy Smiley

These unique aspects of British democracy are quite good.

jacob rees-mogg has to lose while standing next to a guy wearing a baked beans-themed balaclava

Detroiters was an awesome show and should have continued forever. www.instagram.com/reel/C9A9fne...

I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 on Instagram: "Happy 4th of July! Make sure you have someone on hose duty during your Roman Candle Baseball games this year."www.instagram.com 899 likes, 7 comments - itysl_memes on July 4, 2024: "Happy 4th of July! Make sure you have someone on hose duty during your Roman Candle Baseball games this year.".

When you’re having a nice night and someone else is certainly not.

I am against this as we can’t find 435 non-idiots to fill these roles.

For real though it sucks that Britain, a damp rock the size of one of my city's medium sized parks, has a legislature with more representatives than the United States. We deserve better.

Doing a twin sister switch is the weakest plotting since Lindsay Lohan was bankable.

The Supreme Court of the United States smells like late stage Jedi Order.

When we would say conservatives who could no longer carry a majority would turn to fascism, we were called hyperbolic. That is what is happening. That’s the entire project they’ve undertaken since 2020 and the Times thinks it’s more important if Biden takes afternoon naps (which I do when I can!).

these people do not intend to ever lose power again

That’s pretty much the ballgame. I can’t imagine why they’re so nervous. What could it be? 🤷‍♂️

these people do not intend to ever lose power again

New idea: replace all law enforcement with grandmas who have watched a lot of Masterpiece Mystery.

Today’s “luxury” is much more a measure of size than taste. Tastes change. I would understand anyone desiring a modern look compared to late stage Victorian, which is grotesque to me. Or the reverse choice! As for “for-profit” home building, it isn’t getting built any other way.

Apropos of nothing: One of the wildest degradations of meaning in the last few decades is "luxury." "Luxury" homes have the same appointments as everyone else's, by and large due to for-profit home-building. There is zero artisan involvement in, like. Anything.

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Chris Fitzgerald

“The rabbits got the gun now” coming from a lawyer for a crooked Governor going after a newspaper writer is such a telling comment about how much we’ve let powerful people cast themselves as victims and it goes from this to Elon to Trump and everywhere else

Mississippi is the poorest state in the US. Even though the state gets federal welfare funds, it is difficult to get welfare. The money was all getting stolen, and they got away with it. Now the journalists who exposed the story are facing a lawsuit and jail. www.nbcnews.com/investigatio...

She exposed how the nation's poorest state spent federal welfare money. Now she might go to jail.www.nbcnews.com "The rabbit's got the gun now," said a lawyer for former Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant, who is trying to force reporter Anna Wolfe to reveal her sources.

I don’t think the democracy v autocracy debate works. It’s actually plutocracy versus people. A reform message is what is needed. Get the money out, don’t let the big companies cheat us, create jobs, increase wages, deliver housing and health. Democratic Populism.

Speaking of people no one needs to hear from: John Dean.

NEW: "Richard Nixon would have had a pass": John Dean, former Nixon White House counsel, stunned by Trump immunity ruling. “Virtually all of his Watergate conduct” could easily fall into what the Supreme Court now says is official conduct. www.huffpost.com/entry/richar...

'Richard Nixon Would Have Had A Pass': John Dean Stunned By Trump Immunity Rulingwww.huffpost.com “Virtually all of his Watergate conduct” could easily fall into what the Supreme Court now says is official conduct, said Nixon’s former counsel.

If he thinks I’m afraid of some bald headed, bloodless think tank dimwits, he’s free to meet me at my favorite local watering hole where I’ll buy him a shot and a beer and the. kick his ass. These men are cowards, Donnie.

Heritage Foundation president celebrates Supreme Court presidential immunity ruling: "We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be" www.mediamatters.org/project-2025...

Heritage Foundation president celebrates Supreme Court immunity decision: "We are in the process of the second American Revolution"www.mediamatters.org

I find her to be very awesome.

“Taraji P. Henson made Project 2025 the talk of the BET Awards. The host of this year's BET Awards warned viewers on multiple occasions about the far-right plan to dismantle and remake the government in Trump's image.” www.msnbc.com/msnbc/amp/sh...

Taraji P. Henson made Project 2025 the talk of the BET Awardswww.msnbc.com The draconian plan supported by conservative groups to dismantle the government if Donald Trump is elected was the talk of the Black Entertainment Television Awards.

It’s not that the priorities are misaligned as much as most people can’t imagine people being as repugnant as your average fascist. It’s not an ideology as much as it is a mental illness.

Yep. One of the biggest blind spots people have is assuming that underneath, others share the same basic values as them. They have trouble imagining an ideology that is completely misaligned with theirs.