I’m going to attempt to read Moby-Dick. On my phone. Every time you look at me staring at me phone you’ll think I’m texting, but I won’t be, I’ll be reading mothafuckin Moby-Dick y’alllll.
Jk I’m never doing this.
Me on dating app: So, what do you do for work?
Guys on dating app: Don’t do this. Don’t waste our time with this back and forth chatting bullshit. I’ll tell you about it in person 😉
Me: So, no job?
Guys: LETS MEET IN PERSON!!!
Following her wildly successful fundraising calls with Black women, South Asians and white women, Harris will host a call for white men, but the participants will just be all of her potential VP picks.
Is there catharsis in space. Tonight we travel to the solar system of L 98-59, a world poised to intercept our classic "must see tv" line up of two hours of jokes followed by a fuck it all drama.
“learn to edit yourself,” I tell myself, trying to pare down an album of 600+ photos of a horse before I share it with the people who work with her
“no,” I *also* tell myself, leaving 20 pictures of her getting a bubble bath last Wednesday
“learn to edit yourself,” I tell myself, trying to pare down an album of 600+ photos of a horse before I share it with the people who work with her
“no,” I *also* tell myself, leaving 20 pictures of her getting a bubble bath last Wednesday
*my toddler rewatching videos of people going up and down elevators in a skyscraper simulator day after day*
Me: Don’t you want to watch Skibidi toilet or something?
at some point soon, more people will have been actively talking about & engaging in posts around jd vance having carnal relations with his furniture than the former president getting shot at.
honestly — that is my america my friends.
A cooking show where the winner is the chef who prepares a dish so good the judges can’t resist
But the judges are all high and part of their own separate contest of being the winner by resisting the munchies
