Jonathan

@einang.bsky.social

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Jonathan

"enjoy the camps" starter pack.

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mr president: you must beat splatterhouse 3 on the sega genesis live on stream with no save states and no game genie codes. no bathroom breaks

Breaking news: President Biden and his senior team said they accepted the grim ultimatum they’ve been hearing from almost all quarters of the Democratic Party — to demonstrate his fitness for office or face a significant effort to force him to step aside.

Biden and aides concede he needs to quickly demonstrate his fitness for officewww.washingtonpost.com Critics have been shaken by his relative inaction to directly address the panic ignited by his halting debate performance last Thursday.

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Jonathan

"The Bernie Bros and K-Hive appear to be forming an alliance," I say at the 4th of July cookout. An anvil falls out of the sky directly onto my person, killing me instantly. God appears through the clouds. "I did that," he says. Family and friends applaud politely.

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Jonathan

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Jonathan

one of those scenes where the good guy is chasing the bad guy in a house of mirrors but it’s my boss trying to find the Zoom meeting with the real me so he can fire me

this has to be the least compelling pitch of all time

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Jonathan

Inspirational quote of the day

90’s after school specials were wild

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Jonathan

We’ll all remember where we were the day the music died…

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Jonathan

U.S. Army Recruiter Has Bound, Gagged Civilian That Teen Can Shoot Right Now If He Enlistswww.theonion.com KERRVILLE, TX—Offering an added incentive in the hopes of enticing the young man to sign up for the military, U.S. Army recruiter Henry “Tex” Teevens revealed during a job fair Thursday that he had a ...

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Jonathan

My wife, an avid amateur vexillologist, loves flying controversial historical flags at our various properties and I am powerless to stop her. I hate my flag bitch wife.

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Jonathan

Worship Elon Musk, beat your children, save the world.

Can someone security conscious explain why anyone with a Signal account would ever do this if they’re actually worried about privacy?

DMs on Bluesky will not be "end-to-end encrypted" until we are able to do some more protocol work. We have very careful access controls within our systems. If you're extremely privacy conscious, I'd recommend using Bluesky DMs to share your Signal accounts!

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Jonathan

Lmao carbuzz.com/tesla-halts-...

Tesla Halts Cybertruck Deliveries Due To Accelerator Pedal Issuescarbuzz.com Several Cybertruck owners had to change their plans to receive their EVs this weekend.

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Jonathan

Have you ever got a concussion from a series of words

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Jonathan

Me keeping the cash:

You should be able to deposit cash in the bank by taking a photo of it, like with checks. They should just trust you to destroy the bills

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Jonathan

Hi, I’m Sam Handwich, owner and founder of Sam Handwich’s Ham Sandwiches. When my father gave me this name, I vowed to one day kill him. I’ve harnessed that anger into a passion for quality meat and deli products, and I’m here today to tell you about our new spring menu

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Jonathan

The Art of War is so funny when you realise it's basically a very frustrated Sun Tzu writing The Absolute Dipshit Entitled Brat Silver Spoon Nepo Baby's Guide to Not Immediately Fucking Up A War, which also explains why CEO's like it so much

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Jonathan

Uhhh nice joke you just posted. I’m going to act like you were serious so I can make a weirdly hostile yet incomprehensible reply

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Jonathan

A '54 convertible is a classic now so asking for one as an extravagant Christmas gift still works but there was a whole period where it was just a song about sexily asking Santa for a like 10-year-old car

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Jonathan

PSA that you don’t have to go high on this, this lady is not gonna stop trying to revive the Briggs Initiative because you were charitable about her private behavior

Moms For Liberty cofounder Bridget Ziegler, a Florida book banner who crusaded for the Don't Say Gay act, is in a new sex tape with another woman. flcga.org/police-have-...

Police have recovered second Ziegler sex video, sources say - Florida Center for Government Accounta...flcga.org A sex video involving Sarasota School Board member Bridget Ziegler and an unidentified woman has been recovered by police as part of the ongoing criminal

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(strapping on guns and throwing knives, slowly putting on eye mask silhouetted against a full moon atop a tenement in Hell's Kitchen)

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Jonathan

Julius Caesar justified his conquest of England by claiming that the inhabitants were ignorant barbarians on account of the fact that although they had milk, they didn't make cheese. That might be the most Italian justification of colonialism I've ever heard.

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Jonathan

oh my god yes yes yes

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Jonathan

heute gibts etwas wissenscontent für euch

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Jonathan

November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone