watch this cats get so stupid when you shine a laser poi and then my thoughts trail off as the fireworks show begins and i stare at the sky for a good twenty five minutes
Earlier we were arguing about which uncle liked them smothered and chunked. It was either the one who ended up in traction trying to put his pants on over his shoes or the one who accidentally walked in front of a train.
Raccoons got in the office last night. They found Cindy's ketchup packets, did a number on Evan's desk, and everywhere there is carnage. Still, there is no doubt now that they can work wonders with a spreadsheet. The company's been threatening a restructure. We can all be replaced.
How I Love Music is GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD IS THE GREATEST SONG IN THE WORLD FOLLOWED BY EVERY COVER OF YELLOW BRICK ROAD AND THEN NOTHING or I Never Loved A Man and this cover of Heart Shaped Box but I ONLY LISTEN TO PRINCE BUSTER omg I’ve never heard this have you heard this you have to hear th
on road trips i listen to artists who match the vibe of where i'm traveling so in new york it's billy joel and in new jersey it's springsteen and down south it's matthew mcconaughey blowing into an empty milk jug while dragging his nuts against a washboard even tho i really can't stand country music
Books go bad if you leave them out on the counter unfinished for too long. You could end up with listeria, salmonella, some sort of giant worms on the brain. Better to stay up until 4 am and finish the things, really. You are an adult now, with responsibilities to uphold and an example to set.
Did I tell you about the alligator that escaped from a petting zoo and was found pacing in front of a 7-Eleven? Anyway, my dad put in a heated toilet seat and didn't come out of the bathroom until my brother Brian left for college. I found out normal toilets seats are uncomfortable for a reason.
