Kieran Healy: I didn’t know half this stuff — Subium • Bluesky web client

I didn’t know half this stuff

Not many people know that JFK was assassinated just to stop him from coming back to get a seventh bachelor's degree.

Save some financial aid for the rest of us

everyone told me I was crazy for saying I held Andrew Jackson's legs while he did a kegstand to celebrate the invasion of Iraq, but who's crazy now?!?!?

Joke’s on them. Most of these are posthumous degrees

he lived, after all, as a perpetual bachelor

Addicted to School: The Story of Andrew Johnson

I mean, if it didn't stop him from getting his 4th, 5th, and 6th...

they had to stop him before he learned again

Gonna be the next Ghostbusters movie: JFK is haunting the campus looking for Cold War history books and hot coeds.

Serious Buster Bluth energy

Dairy Science. Obviously.

In my grad school days, Andrew Johnson was as much a campus fixture as Tunnel Bob.

I mean at some point he was just showing off.

Except even death doesn’t seem to have stopped him from matriculating in 1992 & 1993. 🤔

This will sound callous, but he had it coming. Enough is enough!

To be fair, you have so much time to pursue academic interests after you die.

And you might actually be dead long enough to pay off your loans.

We’ve all seen a few professors who clearly didn’t let death stop them.

Conspiracy theorists are gonna love AI that doesn’t know wtf it’s talking about. Even better, when stuff like this is manually corrected, it’ll be evidence of the cover up!

Large language models don't know or think at all

I know how LLMs work, this is a common English expression meant to convey that it’s unreliable

It doesn't convey that at all and it's *dangerously* misleading.. Try again, this time back on X.

No it’s not, you need to relax. Try again outside where there’s grass maybe

I keep screaming this into the void

Is it just finding graduates with the same names?

Yes, it's literally reading this article (linked)

Presidential Badgers | Wisconsin Alumni Associationuwalumni.com

oh for chrissakes

My thought.

It's going by this. uwalumni.com/news/preside...

Presidential Badgers | Wisconsin Alumni Associationuwalumni.com

💯

I'm struggling to think of a larger company that has put out a product this bad in public before. Like, this might actually be the biggest, worst example of a borked product rollout in all of history.

Even the Ford Pinto actually transported some people from point A to B without exploding them.

The Pinto was, overall, not actually worse than average (which was not great). en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Pi...

Ford Pinto - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.org

Is this the one with the gas tank in the back, prone to explosion on impact, or was that the Chevelle?

Got to remember the Pinto came out in a time when the government did it's job. By today's standards it wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. Hell, like 8 people died of poisoned Tylenol bottles in the 80's and it was a national emergency and why tamper proof lids exist. That happening now seems impossible

Pinto was a car with that design, yes. But not the only.

Except for Cities Skylines 2

andrew jackson could learn a lot from andrew johnson

By several degrees.

Seriously, how does this happen?

Andrew Johnson could not be stopped

They impeached him and he still just kept going

it's pulling from an existing list, which somehow makes this worse: it's not even wrong in an impressive way uwalumni.com/news/preside...

Presidential Badgers | Wisconsin Alumni Associationuwalumni.com

James Buchanan was notorious for his love of the academy

John Tyler, that Summer of Love motherfucker

congrats to Andrew Johnson's ghost

When I was 7 years old and doing my research in the encyclopedia, I found out about the American Pope, Alexander. I was as good as AI 72 years ago.

The last words all of us with hear is an AI voice explaining: "But that's what you asked for."

Good for Ford, getting a degree while being President.

No smartphone to distract him!

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