Alan Bellingham

@bellinghman.bsky.social

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Alan Bellingham

If you are unsafe after the game tonight, call the Domestic Abuse Helpline 📞 0808 2000 247

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Alan Bellingham

I am going to have this printed on a teeshirt and put it on at 9pm every night

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Alan Bellingham

Theory: Liz Truss is a time traveller, sent back to change the past to benefit her evil clan. It was working, but then she accidentally killed the Queen, and now her timeline doesn't exist. Would explain the malicious cluelessness, and zero understanding of how people work

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Alan Bellingham

Top tier trolling from former Lib dem leader.

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Alan Bellingham

Election time in the UK. Democracy only works if we all have our say, so get out there and vote.

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Alan Bellingham

there's being gaslit, and then there's whatever the fuck this is.

i am losing my mind

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Alan Bellingham

The eight Library book, THE UNTOLD STORY, still just 99p for the ebook on UK Amazon. Excitement! Peril! Draconic brawls! Mysterious hidden legends! What lies in the bowels of the Library? www.amazon.co.uk/Untold-Story...

The Untold Story (The Invisible Library series Book 8) eBook : Cogman, Genevieve: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Storewww.amazon.co.uk The Untold Story (The Invisible Library series Book 8) eBook : Cogman, Genevieve: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

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Alan Bellingham

No tolerance at all for anyone portraying Assange, an admitted rapist, Gamergate advocate, Ron/Rand Paul supporter, and Putin lickspittle who may have tipped the 2016 election in Trump's favour, as a hero. He has sometimes been on the right side by accident, but he's a reprehensible human being.

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Alan Bellingham

Reply to

Helen McCarthy

She’d vote for Sutekh the Destroyer if he promised to kill trans women first.

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“Of all the hills to die on, the Tories choose William Hill”

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Alan Bellingham

Suggs is a long time advocate of Red Wedge and Rock Against Racism, an early example of Madness going Politically Correct. #totp

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Alan Bellingham

Currently awaiting the revelation that Sunak put a couple of grand on Labour to win.

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Alan Bellingham

The one thing now really pissing me off about the Stonehenge thing is the "it's only cornflour". Cornflour (what the USA calls cornstarch) is white. It's obviously been either dyed or mixed with pigment. "It's just cornflour" is like saying poster paint is just water. And I ain't drinking it.

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Alan Bellingham

New employee show up for his first day; he's taken to the mailroom, and his supervisor shows him the sorting/distribution routine. Newbie stands to his full height and says "You don't understand-I have an MBA!" Supervisor takes a moment, says "Ah! That changes everything. So, this is an envelope..."

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Alan Bellingham

All you need to know about the NRA is they sat by in total silence while Hunter Biden was charged and convicted of a gun crime literally millions of their members are equally guilty of.

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Alan Bellingham

Hey so it's been awhile since I went on this particular rant but just FYI chiropractors are not actually real doctors, chiropractic is not in any sense based on science, and you are taking the risk of being injured or outright killed by one every time they touch you.

Say what you will about chiropractors, sometimes they reveal themselves as potentially murderous grifting quacks.

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Alan Bellingham

This guy goes to a beekeeper and says I would like a dozen bees, please. Certainly, says the beekeeper, and hands him 13 bees. The guy looks at him quizzically so the beekeeper says "oh don't worry sir, that one's a freebie"

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Alan Bellingham

A long time back I met someone who, during a dark time, had worked with an actual mail scammer. I asked how could people possibly fall for how stupid these baits were. He explained the funnel was designed to filter out anyone who wasn't dumb enough to follow the scammer's every instruction.

Every few days some scammer tries to add me to a Skype scam group. And I see messages like this until I block/report the group. But, either people are incredibly gullible or they insert fake gullible people into the group as well. "This is legal and we at Instagram Company work on this project" 🙄

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Alan Bellingham

Chip your pets. You may find they have escaped to another country like I did. medium.com/@sheepbop/th...

As of today, it's now the law in England that all pet cats have to be microchipped. Penalty for not doing so is a £500 fine. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Cats must be microchipped by 10 June by owners in Englandwww.bbc.co.uk New legislation comes into force on Monday 10 June.

The story of my cat, Moon Unit, international adventurer.medium.com Once upon a time there was a stray cat hanging around at work, in East London. Nobody seemed to own her, so I took her home and adopted…

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Alan Bellingham

Yes, Private Eye. Spot on. 🎯

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Alan Bellingham

Preserved here, complete, for posterity.

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Alan Bellingham

So much of US foreign policy in the Middle East makes sense when you realize a disproportionately influential Christian sect believes Israel is the material component in their Summon Jesus spell

Sorry, sometimes it's just... Look, I'm literally someone who studies the occult and has done rituals to contact the dead and my mind is still blowing at the thought that we have people in high positions of the government pushing policy to literally set up a ritual to bring about the Apocalypse.

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Alan Bellingham

RISHI: You're sure about this? ADVISOR: Yes RISHI: Because it's a big deal ADVISOR: Um, is it..? RISHI: Okay I'm doing it. DONE. Tweeted. ADVISOR: Cool I- WHAT?!. National EXPRESS! RISHI: You said National Service! ADVISOR: I said National EXPRESS! Instead of helicopters everywhere! RISHI: Oh fuuuck

Confirmation: NI Minister Steve Baker says Sunak’s National Service wheeze was developed by a political adviser and sprung on candidates with no consultation or even talking to relevant ministers.

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Alan Bellingham

You know that saying: ‘You cannot reason someone out of something he or she was not reasoned into’? That’s how I know they can’t fix the basic problems with generative ‘AI’. Its makers have no way to make it understand that half the data it’s ‘trained’ on is trash. The stupid is baked in.

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Alan Bellingham

Stop attacking Google for occasional inaccuracies. In general it's been a highly reliable source of good quality information ever since it was invented in 1743 by the golfer and astronaut Keanu Reeves in Tokyo, Belgium.

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Alan Bellingham

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Alan Bellingham

Sunak currently in Belfast and associating himself with The Titanic, so that would make two Prime Ministers in a row beaten by an iceberg.

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Alan Bellingham

Kabosu, the dog behind the 'doge' internet meme, has died

Kabosu, the dog behind the 'doge' internet meme, has diedwww.nbcnews.com “She quietly passed away as if asleep while I caressed her,” the dog’s owner Atsuko Sato, a kindergarten teacher from the city of Sakura in Japan, wrote on Friday.

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Alan Bellingham

Reply to

Stephen Bush

Ofcom: “During an interview with a Conservative and Count Binface your reporter laughed openly.” Broadcaster: “It was not a significant breach of impartiality. The candidate is clearly standing as a joke, has no serious policies and no expectation of winning.” Ofcom: “And Count Binface?”