Craig Schaefer

@craigschaefer.bsky.social

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Writes books, mostly about magic and outlaws. Pen name of Heather Schaefer. Making my nest in Providence. My latest, Dig Two Graves, is available now. (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D1HDPH4H)

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Some days writing is full of excitement and romance and action scenes, and some days you spend two hours studying the 15th century etymology of a word just to get it right. This is an etymology day.

Not enough shit can be shoveled on Dick Wolf's head for the decades he's spent mythologizing our entire justice system. Cops are righteous and good and humble protectors! The system is fair and honest! Rights are for guilty people, good people can and should cooperate with authority!

Still one of the best zombie movies ever made, hilarious while serving up absolute nightmare fuel at the same time.

Jul 3rd 1984 - 40 years ago today, a chemical gas which reanimates corpses was accidentally released. 📽️📅 The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Ah, the new-game dilemma. Play Zenless Zone Zero for a little bit when it drops at 10PM my time tonight and try to get some sleep after, or wait until after work tomorrow?

"I understand you've been disparaging NaNoWriMo." "What?! How did you even get into my house?" "Enforcing the codes of conduct." "I'm in the SHOWER!" "Codes of conduct."

Huh. Now the new executive director of NaNoWriMo is claiming that the NaNoWriMo Code of Conduct applies to literally every space in the world, including Tumblr DMs. Imagine Kilby getting snark in Whole Foods. "That's against the code of conduct! I'll ban you!" #writingcommunity #NaNoWriMoSucks

Your honor, with all due respect, this ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race.

Your honor with all due respect, I shot the Sherrif but I didn’t shoot the deputy.

And remember this, when you're feeling down about this hellscape we share: the revolutionaries WON. We can win again. We will win again. No kings in America.

Honestly, from now until November, our rallying cry should just be "NO KINGS IN AMERICA" and we should make sure to take back all the American Revolutionary imagery we ceded to conservatives -- and make them fly the flags they *really* believe in. Because they sure ain't this flag.

I write novels about queer outlaws who do crimes, and even though it's my fantasy too, sometimes I have to take a moment to breathe in the landscape and realize how truly appealing that is. More queer, more crimes, check, noted. Uh, also in my books. Also that. That's what I meant, totally.

SCOTUS has ruled that presidents are essentially monarchs who can commit crimes, bribery is legal, federal regulatory agencies have no authority to keep us safe, and homeless people can be punished for being homeless. Is it any wonder why public approval of this court is so low?

The writerly feeling of getting a form rejection letter from an agent you queried over half a year ago. Yeah, my guy, I kinda already figured you weren't interested.

Been living downtown for a month and it's still a delight. The noise at night took some getting used to but now it's like rainfall. The muffled thump of music from the bar across the street, late-night conversation from a sidewalk cafe below my window, it's strangely soothing in the dark.

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Craig Schaefer

Werner Herzog directing a Maybelline ad: Perhaps she is born with it. What a frightful notion, to be imbued with the fetters of capitalist commodification from birth. It suggests God Himself is a part of our dreadful pattern instead of a refuge from it.

I'm scared, and sometimes it's exhausting pretending that I'm not. Think I need to take a rare vacation day today, paint some miniatures or something.

Skeet from two days ago is still doing numbers. Why that one and not a hundred others that get crickets? I don't know, nobody does, and you should remember that whenever someone says they can "guarantee" success or sales if you take their $$$ course.

Starting a new serial over on my lil' Patreon, a Harmony Black novella that answers the question, "Whatever happened to Site Burgundy, anyway?" First three chapters are up today and free for everyone, member or not.

Terminal Lockdown: Prologue | Craig Schaeferwww.patreon.com Get more from Craig Schaefer on Patreon

Orson Welles voice: "'Kiki'? 'Bouba'? What are these, are these...words, in some exotic tongue that I fail to comprehend? I do not know how to engage with such foolishness. Sheer poppycock."

If you make any kind of art and call yourself a "content creator" I will go angry mom on your ass so fast. "Content" is corporate pabulum. You make art. Call yourself an artist, hold your head up high, and don't help bean-counters and empty suits to degrade you. They'll do that on their own.

I'm going to take a page from Malachai's book. Any time someone asks me something dumb or I just don't feel like answering, I'll reply "What a human question" and walk away. #AEW

Reflecting (because it happened on Threads again) how coming out as trans suddenly brought failed-writer reply guys out of the woodwork to WELL ACTUALLY me. Like the second I started using she/her pronouns, a decade of experience and consistent success just evaporated and I clearly know nothing

Turns out Clearsky can give you a list of how many people have blocked you, and...I'm fine, my ego isn't bruised at all hahaha how are YOU doin'?

Thomas legit got up there and said "Hey, I DO think people who beat their spouses should have easy access to murder tools!" and did that shit with a straight face. If you feel shame about anything today, stash it, you don't need it, you're almost certainly a better person than Thomas.

Despite looking like shovelware, Crime Boss: Rockay City was a surprise delight when I played it last year. Now it's out on Steam and I'm running through it all over again. Is it GOOD? Oh god no, the writing and voice-acting is atrocious, to a baffling degree, but it is quite fun.

Never mind me, just working on a Harmony Black novella for Patreon at the same time that I'm wrapping up the new novel, so following the same group of characters in two different stories set several years apart. This isn't messing with my head at all I am PERFECTLY fine

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Craig Schaefer

Reply to

Faine Greenwood

If your leftism isn't fundamentally centered on the idea of human dignity and freedom as universal and immutable values of everyone, frankly, what is the fucking point of your philosophy.

Now that the WriterStation is up and running, time to assemble the MiniPainterStation!

Just had my last session with my therapist (we have to part ways because I moved and she's not licensed for RI.) We've been working together for years. We both cried. I cried more. Cannot say enough, looking back over my journey of the last few years, how much I've learned and grown.

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Craig Schaefer

Seriously, check if your antidepressants put you at risk for lower heat tolerance. It's possible you're not (just) aging, you're dealing with symptoms of a routine medication.

Many common medications, including antidepressants, can reduce your heat tolerance. If you live in a place that doesn’t usually get this hot, now is a good time to check all of your prescriptions’ side effect lists to see if they include sensitivity to heat / heat intolerance.

It's Pride Month so The Hungry Dreaming and its sequel, The Wise Men of Gotham, are on sale for a buck all week long. Want a story about a trans girl going on an adventure to save history with her found family, two reporters who do journalism? Also there are Greek gods and a ghoul princess involved

Amazon.com: The Hungry Dreaming (The Midnight Scoop Book 1) eBook : Schaefer, Craig: Kindle Storewww.amazon.com Amazon.com: The Hungry Dreaming (The Midnight Scoop Book 1) eBook : Schaefer, Craig: Kindle Store

Realizing that this new Harmony Black novel is going to be one of the angriest things I've ever written, and yes, it's largely about AI and silicon valley bullshit

My friends, I have somehow gone 50 years of life without experiencing the joy that is onigiri. I rectified that tonight, and now I must make up for lost time for onigiri...is really really good