deadpan

@deadpan.bsky.social

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deadpan

Tragic news coming out of austin today as a a malfunctioning boston dynamics SentryDog prototype has shot both logan and jake paul in the stomach with deer slugs

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deadpan

Texas chain saw massacre is full of plot holes... what happens to the victims when they die? is there an afterlife?

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deadpan

JK Rowling has been neutralized in a JSOC special forces operation launched with our Pakistani partners against a compound in Abottabad, sources tell NBC News.

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deadpan

jd vance fails the "eat a burger in the bathroom" quadrennial political challenge. he ate it while sitting on the toilet. governor tim walz proudly ate his burger nude in the shower

Reply to

Stella

They really wanted to communicate the main character is an American tough guy, so he’s constantly cracking whole walnuts with his teeth

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deadpan

We as a society are never going to come up with a better supervillain name than "Casanova Frankenstein"

the magic of animation

click back and forth between these pictures to see stinky beavis and butthead

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deadpan

It's funny that the default benchmark for any AI image generation software is whether it will draw a famous person doing 9/11

Reply to

Ed Ronion

steal his look

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deadpan

Me and Anubis are laughing at how heavy your heart is, man. He’s doing bits. Like acting like he can’t even lift it with both hands haha. Acting like he’s doing bicep curls with it. I’m like, damn, Anubis is in his bag

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deadpan

Sure, let's use AI to design our neon sign, what's the worst that could happen, smdh

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deadpan

finally an election where people stop pretending the thiel freaks and all their roman statue avi hangers-on are anything but gross little pill bugs. like a dam broke

Reply to

Ed Zitron

Enjoying my daily jog through Central Park only to come across bobby kennedy jr and his buddies crouching repeatedly and hitting a bear carcass with crowbars until it clips through a tree and crashes the server

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deadpan

Challenge mode: get someone else’s dick stuck in your fly

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deadpan

I have a million pictures in my phone from the plant store photoshoot we did for my wife's Audrey II costume from last Mardi Gras season and I look at them every day.

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deadpan

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deadpan

COPS: Police Cybertruck. Practical police aggression truck. THE PUBLIC: No, police. You can’t have a Cybertruck. COPS: Good Cyber good police give beautiful police deserve militia. THE PUBLIC: Police, we simply can’t afford a Cybertruck. It is an unjustifiable expense. COPS: jealousy taxpayer

Cops want Cybertrucks. They serve no practical purpose and are an irresponsibly expensive misuse of taxpayer funds that have sacrificed much more beneficial public services…but cops don’t care about the communities they serve. www.404media.co/email/746a69...

Reply to

Dan O’Sullivan

Coder. Veteran. My neighbor has trained the local crows to try and steal my Apple Watch whenever I leave the house and it is NOT. FUNNY.

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deadpan

your identity in a capitalist society

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deadpan

Reply to

Brendel

They’re called the New Intellectual Dark Web

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deadpan

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deadpan

River crossing

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deadpan

trying to think of why it's so easy to spot chatGPT writing even when it's not making stuff up. like it can write in different tones and styles to a degree, but there's still kind of an "overconfident nerd" je ne sais quois to it all

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deadpan

A writer lives their whole life for an opportunity like this.

San Francisco is back sfstandard.com/2024/07/11/n...

Naked men save tourist from random assault in Castrosfstandard.com Justice went full frontal in the Castro last week when two nudists took down a man attacking a tourist on the street. The naked vigilantes—Pete Sferra of San Jose and Lloyd Fishback of San Francisco—w...

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✅

i cannot wait to urinate on a cybertruck. i am going to simply blast it with peepee

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deadpan

At the unveiling ceremony, Eric Adams is flipping switches on the back of ED-209, trying to turn on bluetooth so he can make it play Empire State of Mind and the thing is just blasting the crowd to bits

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deadpan

it's the fourth of july so time to watch the movie I watch every year

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deadpan

hey check out this horror comic i wrote and @shaydh.bsky.social illustrated merrittk.itch.io/the-war-foll...

The War Follows Me Wherever I Go by merritt kmerrittk.itch.io A horror comic about things you can't hide from

Reply to

merritt k

*speedrunner voice* so for this next bit we're going to be taking emotional damage to save time