JonCee71

@joncee71.bsky.social

Posts

Old Geezer - don't know how I made it this far. "Man, I miss the '70s!"
Hunkered down & laying low. Watch your back, it's getting dum-fuk crazzee out there!

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JonCee71

Thanks Uncle Joe! 💕👋

36 years in the senate. 8 years as Vice President. 4 years as President. A family man and a man of integrity who served our country with honor. Thank you for your service, Joe. 💙💙

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JonCee71

Dennis Farina, passed 11 years ago today. He shopped at the Target I worked at in AZ in the 90s. Once he asked me, "Hey buddy, where you keep the plungers?" I took him to them, then told him I was a fan. He said, "Great, just don't call the National Enquirer and tell ‘em my shitter’s clogged!"

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JonCee71

"If the landlord asks, you're a Chihuahua."

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JonCee71

The older I get, the more I identify with property listings. “Tons of character & charm, but in need of total renovation.” Yep, can relate. “Beautiful original features but requires some modernisation.” Bang on. “Great project for an experienced developer.” My god, it’s like you know me!

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JonCee71

#YHGtBFKMwTS

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JonCee71

James Madison was 25 years old when he signed the constitution When I was 25 I was doing cocaine off a car key in the ladies room with my girlies

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JonCee71

Periodically, I like to reread my favorite Scottish poem: Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence.

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JonCee71

the rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while i’m there.

Never too many bunnies. Never. Same for puppies.

More bunny, in case anyone needs a bunny 🖤

Many thanks bc. And for the record, many more thanks.

At long last, it’s @seniledondraper.bsky.social!

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JonCee71

The trick to social media, other than mental illness, is deleting 75% of everything that spews from your disgusting thumbs.

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JonCee71

Reply to

Gwen Pepperoni

as for me I'm Chief Petty Bitch Officer

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JonCee71

do you think they let taylor swift drive the jet drunk sometimes

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JonCee71

sry but moving forward I'll be saying "this is going to ruin the tour" anytime I experience the slightest inconvenience

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JonCee71

damn, dude

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JonCee71

Surprised there isn't a porn star named Leonardo DiClaprio.

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JonCee71

Hey what are ya’ll doin it’s time to think about riboflavin again! Are you getting enough? Are you saying it right? Why do we know about it?

The Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

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JonCee71

I fucking LOVE John Cuneo. This is his cover. That is all.

Next week’s cover of The New Yorker just dropped.

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JonCee71

these are gorgeous! I love Nora's shop 💛

New in the shop! Honeybee hexagon pendants! nora.jewelry/products/hon...

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JonCee71

True. Story. I do feel better now.

If you’re having a rough day just remember that you’re not one of twelve randos locked in a room without phones having to think about Trump’s dick

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JonCee71

This is *really* good.

Since I quoted Samuel Johnson earlier: Here is the piece of writing I think I’m most proud of, on Johnson and his brother, written for Lapham’s and with very effective editorial help from Sarah Fan. (I don’t -think- I’ve shared this here before?) www.laphamsquarterly.org/roundtable/d...

Dr. Johnson’s Dream | Levi Stahlwww.laphamsquarterly.org What did the memory of Nathaniel Johnson mean to his brother Samuel?

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JonCee71

unfortunately had to slap my youngest child, hyperion dipshit, in the target parking lot today after he failed to show proper respect to a cybertruck. before you call that abuse, just ask my other children, aryan chlamydia and maximus trifecta what they think

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JonCee71

Reply to

Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir)

this is for flag pervert (said in a glowing way) bsky.app/profile/sens...

There is of course a flag for the flag perverts. (International Federation of Vexillological Associations)

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JonCee71

Revisiting Dickens' 1860 essay "Night Walks" and man, if ever there was an example a person turning a challenge (insomnia) into an opportunity (art), it's this. www.charlesdickenspage.com/night-walks....

The Charles Dickens Page - Night Walkswww.charlesdickenspage.com

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JonCee71

How many "tragically wrong" mistakes do you get to make before you are deemed incompetent and the tools of your slaughter are taken away? Or until it is acknowledged your use of lethal force is either indiscriminate or intentionally without any targeting whatever?

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JonCee71

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JonCee71

Revealing myself as the guy who writes "Monday Funday!" on the white board in the conference room

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JonCee71

Prepare the battle duck.

I could easily drift away in this!