for me the Biden conversation is entirely about whether he can win in November. i’m not worried about whether he can actually do the job because i don’t think it’s a real job.
Will (3.8 yo): Hey, look at this! This is called a vacuum! We use this to [suddenly shouting] CLEAN THE POO OFF!!!
(We… definitely don’t, for the record.)
A handy guide to online abbreviations:
IRA — Individual Retirement Army
MLM — Multi-Level Men
MSM — Men who have Sex with Media
CBT — Cognitive Behavioural Torture
ATM — Ass to Machine
STD — Sexually-Transmitted Disability
WAP — Wet Application Protocol
The main things I have learned from consuming a lot of true crime are 1) cops are BLISTERINGLY stupid and 2) Peeping Toms are extraordinarily dangerous people
Novelty Tshirt That Says I Do Not Find Autism To Be A Particularly Useful Label For Purposes Of Self Understanding But You Will Probably Find It Useful As A Mental Framework When Navigating Social Situations Around Me
ok there is a white-throated sparrow singing on my balcony and I would LOVE to know who thought this shit was “O Sweet Canada” when it LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST FOUR NOTES OF BEETHOVEN’S FIFTH
“da-da-da-DAH”-ass bird and they whiffed completely
Sometimes you look up what a particular bird is supposed to sound like and it says “coo-OOH-coo-coo-coo” and other times it says shit like “O Sweet Canada”
that sparrow said fuck-all about Canada and you know it, ornithologists
I have a DNA relative who is a Dutch lady born in the 1940’s who doesn’t know who her dad is and I don’t have that many ancestors who fought in WWII… I could literally solve this. Wimke, I’m coming to help!
I saw and agreed with the “i don’t need a window in my pasta box, i’m not a pervert” post, HOWEVER
I just cooked a box of fusilli that is like 20% gemelli???
Starting my own life over seems like the worst kind of time travel, since my life has been essentially fine (no big things to fix) but I didn’t like most of it (wouldn’t enjoy it a second time) and I don’t understand any post-90’s inventions well enough to scoop them!!
It’s not that “cester” is pronounced “ster”, that would be bonkers. Instead this is a bracketing problem due to the existence of the name “Chester”
It’s (Worce)(ster), (Leice)(ster), (Glouce)(ster), etc. Once you see that, the pronunciations are mostly quite intuitive.
British place names: A guide for confused Americans
If a town has "cester" in its name, that bit is just prounounced "ster"
Worcester = Wooster (with a short 'oo')
Leicester = Lester
Gloucester = Glosster
Frocester = Froster
Alcester = Allster
Bicester = Bisster
Towcester = Toaster (yes, really)
THE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR IDIOMS: Slovenia vs Serbia
🇷🇸 A fairly savage Serbian curse translates to “may your wife give birth to a centipede so you spend your life working for shoes”
vs
🇸🇮 An UNBELIEVABLY savage Slovene curse goes as follows… “I hope your tractor breaks”
Mom breakfast reviews: the Special K with freeze-dried strawberries is good until you get to the end of the bag, where all the freeze dried strawberry dust settled, which just kind of makes it taste like you used sour milk (especially off-putting when the milk is made of almonds)
I just heard a child describe something as "I know it in my brains but I don't know it in my words" and I think that's a great description of that feeling :)
just saw a woman swing into a parking spot, hit a stray shopping cart, get out and just haul ass into joann fabric without even checking the damage. a full on fabric emergency, i am not just spinning a yarn here.
I have acquired a very small 3rd degree burn in a cooking accident and my new hot take on taking heat is that 3rd degree burns are better than 2nd (when the burn is like 1 square cm on the back of your finger in a place that doesn’t bend)
