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Storming in here and demanding "that Bilbo Pack."
Smaug would not be good at customer service. Having a hard time with this name choice.
It's a big swing, but mostly a strange one.
tricking smaug and getting away with two arizona ice teas a pack of cigs and a snickers bar
If you name your store Smaug then a huge pile of gold follows logically
I do believe he would know a thing or two about exotic snacks, however
Idk. I think if you could survive long enough to explain capitalism to him he might be down for opening a storefront. Or at least a pyramid scheme.
When I think of Smaug, I think "convenience."
The customer service experience everyone wants.
The Lonely Mountain is better staffed than most CVSes and Duanes Reade.
“Duanes Reade” Jesus I laughed way harder than I had any right to
look, you know they're gonna have everything
a veritable hoard of weed
Reminds me of a place in DC - when you think high-octane thrills and the possibility of various injuries, think of our dental practice!
[in the worst, nasaliest voice you’ve ever heard] um excuse me, per chance may you have some long bottom leaf ?
dude you're not getting anything from there unless you steal it
To be specific, you'd have to burgle it
$20 surcharge on your $10 ATM withdrawal
what idiot called it smaug convenience and not hobbit lobbit
If they don’t sell a strain called “Longbottom Leaf” I’mma be extremely disappointed
Everybody knows Old Toby is the finest weed in the Shire.
Props to the last known surviving sign using the Early Aughts Racing Movie font.
Few remain who can read this ancient script.
They say that guy Elrond can. He works security at that gated community, past the gas station. Rivendell Estates.
A smoke shop in my neighborhood just got a new sign and they got themselves one of those signs with big shiny sequins behind the lettering. It’s glorious and I hope more smoke shops hop on this trend.
oh damn just as the last light of Durin’s day shines upon the door??!
no i think smaug was pretty damn inconvenient in fact
[in 3-D Homer trapped in the real world voice] Ooohh, exotic snacks
Dude will just hand you a linen sack filled with muffins, cookies, cakes and pies. And your old pipe.
Sorry but I had to do it to 'im
definitely read that as “erotic snacks” and assumed this was a front of some kind
Maybe the real treasure was the $1,29 cups of coffee we drank along the way.
“No, the BilBo pack. Yes yes, I know Smaug _is_ a bad dragon.”
Gimme that desolation shit bro
you're not allowed to shop there until you get the pronunciation of the name right first
I would like some exotic snacks served in a hat, please
Steer clear of the jewelry section
I see your “Smaug Convenience” and raise you: “Shopping Victim”
exotic snacks is a big claim
Have YOU ever eaten a dwarf?
While you're there, please pick up a bong, a ghetto blaster, and a Fanta. Thanks bahd!
Has he got anything to keep thrush away 😎
Wondering if this is brought to us by the same team that ran my local "Rick and Morty Vape"
bsky.app/profile/nafn... The prices are precious.
I hear the owner doesn't take kindly to burglars.
If you thought OTHER stores' coffee was too hot...
Shopping here is addictive, practically hobbit-forming.
Longbottom Leaf only available in 38 states.
Getting an eighth a stack of Lembas
