Mike OG

@mikeo-g.bsky.social

322

Followers

347

Following

7524

Posts

Failing to shut the fuck up since '75

Occasionally #NSFW 🔞

https://ngl.link/mikeog

Signal: @MikeOG.30

Posts Replies Media

Why am I awake so early? Don't answer, I'm going back to sleep.

Reposted by

Mike OG

If abortions ever become illegal in this country, I'll happily push any of you down a flight of stairs for free. As many times as it takes. You don't even have to be pregnant. I just wanna push people down stairs.

Reposted by

Mike OG

In my defense your honor I’m feeling freaking saucy rn

Reposted by

Mike OG

I cannot find the OP now but someone said JD Vance looks like a racist care bear and I fear I may never recover

Reposted by

Mike OG

Please know I’m standing at a podium when I post so all of these are official decrees

Reposted by

Mike OG

all my Skrillexes live in Skrilltexas

Reposted by

Reposted by

I’m fucking terrified. Anyway. Cream and sugar?

Reposted by

Mike OG

Reply to

ᔕᕼᑌT ᑌᑭ, ᕼOᖇSƬ

Have you ever seen the edited “musicless” version of dancing in the street? It’s HI-larious! youtu.be/BHkhIjG0DKc?...

Dancing in the Street // Silent Music Videoyoutu.be A "silent" music video for David Bowie and Mick Jagger's "Dancing in the Street."By Strack Azar and Michael Stevantoni.Voices by Oliver Zaciu and Michael Ste...

Reposted by

Mike OG

Reposted by

Mike OG

it’s always “OMG why does your vagina have teeth,” and never “OMG I love both your smiles”

Reposted by

Mike OG

Sorry I'm late. I got a new vibrator.

Reposted by

Mike OG

Realizing that someone else will be in charge of this shitshow is really a selling point for demon possession

Reposted by

Mike OG

The Mrs and I like to pretend I’m M. Night Shyamalan and she’s one of my movies and then I put myself in her

Reposted by

Mike OG

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. Wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat. And a six-four Impala Magic Genie: I said three

Reposted by

Mike OG

“How do they get ships into bottles?” “Where *IS* France?” “Do birds in Australia fly upside down?” “How can a record player work?” “Was that a fart?” “Is Baby Gronk the new Drip King?” “Aren’t Coke Zero and Diet Coke the same?” “Could I taste wifi?”

"Call me baldy-no-mum one more time, you common oik!"

Mention pegging in front of the sprog one more time and you’ll go the same way as mummy.

show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie

Reposted by

Mike OG

My 8yo was putting sunscreen on my back and said “it feels like I’m rubbing a pig”, in case anyone wonders why I’m drunk later.

Fuck this being awake nonsense, I'm going back to sleep.

Reposted by

Mike OG

[witnessing the slow but inevitable heat death of the universe] well this is quite a pickle

Reposted by

Mike OG

so like absolutely not or you would just prefer

Reposted by

Mike OG

Classrooms full of kids murdered, but the only time America starts a national conversation about “turning back from violence” is when an old white guy gets a bit of blood on his ear.