Micah: “Maybe you’ve heard. I’m all the Jedi. So I’ve got that going for me.” no! no!!

Man, Star Wars is so cooked gizmodo.com/star-wars-ne...

this makes Lucas's dialogue in the prequels sound like Shakespeare

“Maybe you’ve heard. I’m all the Jedi. So I’ve got that going for me.” no! no!!

It's extremely funny that they took the parts everyone hated from both Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker and just leaned into it in the most obnoxious way possible.

"The force is bigger than creed or philosophy." ok, you've caught my interest, disney. "I'm rey Skywalker, maybe you've heard of me" well fuck me for getting my hopes up.

"the force is the living energy of all beings, interconnected throughout the galaxy" vs "the force is special magic points and the more MP your dad had the more MP you have"

Midichlorians Were A Mistake

it was like the one thing everyone agreed sucked about the prequels and then they were like "nah lets lean into this, more midichlorians = more force and theyre stored in the balls"

Times in the SW universe that I died a little inside: - Ewoks - Jar-Jar appears in The Phantom Menace - "Midichlorians" - Jar-Jar resurfaces as a senator (WTF) - Hyperdrive as a weapon (WTAFF)

Midichlorians are fine, they are just fake technical jargon meant to illustrate that the Jedi in their heyday had extensively studied the Force and they don’t contradict Obi-Wan or Yoda’s descriptions from the Original Trilogy.

Such a massive Lost the Plot for me, encountering that shit put a pit in my stomach.

It's wild that you can make an excellent Star Wars name out of two profoundly applicable initialisms: Aros Mwam Anti Rise Of Skywalker Midichlorians Were A Mistake.

The power house of the Force. Let’s take a look at The Jedi Krebinski’s Cycle….

Can’t argue with facts like that.

It's kind of incredible because they've been doing a really interesting job of retconning the weirder choices and directions in the Dave filoni animated stuff, but in live action they're just moving full steam ahead with Abrams worst instincts.

To some extent. Bad Batch leaned into Midichlorians / "M-count."

“But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters." "You can waste time with your friends after your chores are done."

those lines are bad but okay but are really elevated into shittiness by Hammill's incredibly bad line reading

tbh I kind of love that one, it's incredibly whiny and a good demonstration of why the hero of this particular journey has a long-ass way to go

Lucas was a shit writer with a Tin ear for dialogue, and it’s ok for us as Star Wars fans to admit that.

A sequel trilogy where Luke forms a new Jedi order which does not fall victim to the old order’s essential wrong, seeming to control the force as a private province, would have been interesting. The second movie pointed at that but there was zero payoff

I would have basically remade The Furthest Shore with Luke as Ged trying to discover why The Force is disappearing from the galaxy. But I like good things.

Also alignment and Sith powers are heritable now I guess? Rey rejects the Dark Side and has no Sith training but is so attuned to it she can shoot evil lightning because grandpa could???

Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a Jedi of wealth and taste.

As if anything’s bigger than Creed…

Creed - Higher (Official HD Music Video)youtu.be Now in HD! Official music video for "Higher" from Creed's iconic second album, Human Clay (1999). Subscribe to Creed's YouTube channel: https://found.ee/CreedSubscribe Listen to Creed: https://found.ee/best-of-creed-r Watch Official Creed videos: https://found.ee/CreedOfficialVideos Connect with Creed: Facebook: https://found.ee/CreedFacebook Twitter: https://found.ee/CreedTwitter Instagram: https://found.ee/CreedInstagram TikTok: https://found.ee/CreedTikTok Subscribe to Craft Recordings on YouTube: https://found.ee/craft-youtube-subscribe Shop the Craft Recordings store for vinyl, box sets and more: https://found.ee/CraftStore-e #creed #creedhigher #canyoutakemehigher Music video by Creed performing Higher. (C) 1999 Wind-Up Entertainment, Inc.

'I'm Rey. Rey Skywalker. As in *those* Skywalkers.'

It’s kind of weird that Space Göring son killed him and Space Hitler and then Space Hitler’s daughter killed Space Hitler after he came back and then just kinda went “my last name is Göring now”

"the Skywalker family is the Most Important Force Family" "actually the Palpatine family is both All of the Sith and All of the Jedi" "yeah but she decided she's a Skywalker now so it counts" really truly cannot contain my contempt for what they did in RoS

They ensmallenated the entire enterprise in one dumbass reveal.

My love of her being absolutely no family of importance or history will never die. I refuse to believe the nonsense of the final movie. Does not exist

I think about this regularly and get angry. bsky.app/profile/acab...

Remember when they made Snoke out to be the galaxy’s new big-bad and then almost immediately followed it up with “lol jk, you’re not gonna believe this, but guess who’s back”

the most galling part is how they tied themselves in knots to shove as much canon as possible into ros then hand waved it with “somehow palpatine returned” just commit to explaining everything like Star Trek (1979) or explain nothing like Star Wars (1977)

RoS really seemed to have been written by taking notes from the worst Star Wars fan forum ever, with a book of "script writing shortcuts" open next to it.

my personal interpretation (contrary facts be damned) is that the overloyalists freaked out so badly at Last Jedi for doing *different things* that Disney said 'okay look just make another one which is exactly the same as the earlier ones'

hilariously it would have made more sense for her to take the name solo. At least that is her dead not-boyfriend's last name.

on AMCA @austinwalker.bsky.social had the most cursed/best idea - Disney remakes RoS with a brand new story/ending but never confirms which of them is canon. So everyone can be mad and/or happy.

The only thing positive to come out of it is that people appreciate The Last Jedi now.

wasn't crazy about it, but there were parts I liked--but afterwards watching the security blanket misogyny racist squads freaking out that someone had moved their binkies made me respect it much more

Still haven't seen it. Can't bring myself to. They set it up so well. That she was nobody. Just some random person with the force. And then they dashed its fucking brains on the rocks and went NOPE, out of the quadrillions of people in the galaxy only this one family and their friends matter.

"Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before." www.youtube.com/watch?v=spi-... Dr. Who has jumped a motorcycle over a shark tank and off a cliff into the abyss but its vibes always slap.

Doctor Who - Nobody importantwww.youtube.com Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before.

i’m not a huge Star Wars person but this was so viscerally upsetting to me. what had been a rejuvenation of the series with a new generation of protagonists turned into Space Hapsburgs

'the force is real, and exists throughout the entire universe, but it has a really, really huge medieval fixation with inherited lineage'

I got bored about halfway through and started doing Twitter. I’m the guy who liked Ishtar and have seen Aliens about 20 times. I normally like everything.

honestly as someone who loved Last Jedi, Rise of Skyywalker just cojnfirmed the only thing that truly matters is 'wait we cant piss off the fans make sure we never do anything daring ever again"

I don't know where current life stands on it but in the past it was implied Palpatine might have made Anakin using dark side shit which would make the Skywalkers after Shmi his descendants anyway if it were true???

cooper why are you making me think about the last third of that movie again

Look if I gotta, you gotta

if you wanna get technical he’s more like an incompetent Space-Skorzeny but yeah en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Sk...

Otto Skorzeny - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.org

I thought it was supposed to be space Nixon and space … Agnew? Kissinger?

"If a single enemy Y-wing makes it to the Ruhr, my name is not Palpatine. You may call me Skywalker."

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