Felonious Monk πŸ“š

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Felonious Monk πŸ“š

@feloniousmonk.bsky.social

Forever forlorn poet. Bipolar. Dad joking Daddy Dom. Vulgar and profane. Known to pontificate, but also prone to unhinged shitposting. DMs open. 18+ MDNI.

Connect: linktr.ee/thefeloniousmonk
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Hi it's me the guy who writes dumb jokes and horny poems, I'm not dead, just been handling a shit storm, OK, thanks bye for now.
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First of all, yes.
need a Nordic murder show where the detective is named something like Knut VibΓ«s- he drives a yellow Volvo P1900 and is called in to solve crimes that resist traditional investigation techniques by consulting elves and interpreting the Aurora Borealis
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When the grafitti artist realizes that wasn't cumin he added to the chili.
gotta hear both sides (about cum)
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The best thing about an arthritis flare up is creatively avoiding typing any word that contains letters past "U" on the keyboard because it feels like being stabbed on the right side of your hand.
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Isn't this the guy who was caught on camera verbally abusing his pregnant wife?
a tweet i think about
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"I swear By the moon and stars in the sky" "Yes, All-4-One, and that's why you have three days detention."
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Any cheese whiz sprayers?
If ya cum comes out like cheez whiz do not hit me up maybe do life is full of adventure
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Today has been a day of days, and my head is absolutely pounding. Anyone got happy things to share?
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if you think Sephora being out of your lipstick is bad, wait until trump's army shoots you in the face
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I'm so sorry, gang, this was me. I was... Pffffhooo, I have no excuse. I was going through it at the time, and that's just on me.
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I'm in an incredibly shitty high stress meeting and just choke snorted because of this.
OH-OH, HERE SHE COMES WATCH OUT, BOY, SHE'LL EAT YOUR FLAN OH-OH, HERE SHE COMES SHE'S A FLAN EATER
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i had a feeling it would be totally fine ✨✨✨✨misogyny✨✨✨✨
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Shit, this reminds me, I need to water my penis tree.
why did those monks think that witches stole penises and kept them in a penis tree ????? !!!!!
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Would
Final form: plÑtano maduro ice cream ready to freeze 🍌🍦 🍜🍽️
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The irony of calling anything with the Quarter in it a "Clean Zone".
Street vendors and the unhoused in New Orleans are subject to an exclusion zone for the duration of Essence festival. The city calls it a "clean zone": www.nola.com/news/politic...
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I'm always so amazed at how good artists can take something that looks so casual (like scribbles) and have something impactful come out of it. This little fox is awesome.
Fox looking
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it is my constitutional right to loudly deep throat a hot dog at your family gathering
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This is the only thread you need to be following today.
if it’s stuffed is it them a dumpling and no longer a noodle? pasta perverts, I’m asking questions
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I'm choosing to accept this as fact.
Calzones are filled buns that were castrated young and grew to unusual size because of the hormones.
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Mute words is SUCH a good feature.
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I am really baffled sometimes at how weird some online folks can be. Like, if you talked this way at a party, you'd be permanently uninvited, or perhaps smacked in the mouth depending on the environment. Some basic etiquette would go a long way.
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I've talked a bit about how my great uncle, Pat Frank, was a scifi author who wrote Alas, Babylon. But I don't think I've said that he started his career writing for a newspaper's society section. He got in trouble when people discovered he'd made up an aristocratic family to give updates about.
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oh shit i existed for a few seconds today, better disappear for ten days with no warning
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I'm horny for romance. Is there a word for that?
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I’m putting this out into the BlueSky universe : ) I’m a trained film intimacy coordinator looking for work. Inclusive, sex-positive, and willing to work with difficult/controversial subject matter. ICs can also be on set for the safety of minors. DMs are open. Tell yer friends β€οΈπŸ“½οΈ
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Perhaps this is better suited for Nightsky.
There is no shame here in this secret room where my burning hunger meets your aching need Spread yourself open for me and show me the shape of my feast This ravenous beast will draw the scent of you in deeply before filling my mouth and tasting the path to your soul
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every time you saw the void every time you heard the blade whisper a sweet nothing every line you walked without crossing that old river for the moments that passed moments when you refused to pass we offer thanks we offer tearful, humbled thanks for choosing another day for not giving up