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lord help us my mother has started lurking on the interwebs and reading the things the youngs say and last week I had to explain what AFAB stands for and 3 days ago she asked what the C in ACAB stands for and I have found out she told my dad that I explained to her ACAB is Assigned Cop At Birth fml
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you have not had a wtaf moment in life till your dad casually asks you why you are lying to your mother about police officers being chosen at birth
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Parents lie to their kids all the time when it's convenient; turnabout is fair play.
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WTAF = Wait, There are Additional Factors I should have considered when lying to my mom
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This is why our maternity ward has a wood chipper!
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I love your parents, this is pure genius on every level.
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😂😂😂 Good dodge! And you can leap over that little speed bump at the end by explaining that no, no; you meant all cops are =born=.
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I thought this for the longest time and even had, like, a whole intellectual/philosophical framework in place explaining why people were using it.
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Captain Assigned Harpoonist At Birth
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OH MAN JUST REALISED I COULD HAVE WRITTEN ALL HARPOONISTS ARE BASTARDS THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER
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That's beautiful and I'm stealing it for my dad joke repertoire.
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"Have you tried *not* being a cop?"
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About a decade back, I was home on vacation, in the kitchen, innocently making myself a sandwich. Mom: "Oh, I heard something on NPR I was hoping you could explain!" Me, thinking it'd be a LotR/D&D thing: "Sure!" Mom: "What's a 'safeword'?"
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I explained dental dams as STI prevention to my mom at age 17. Seared in my memory forever. 😃
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Ohhh god. Mom tried to give me the Advanced Talk--"you know about using spermicidal lubricant with condoms, right?"--while I was watching the scene in Grease 2 where someone fakes a nuclear attack for sexual purposes. ...I don't put it past the woman to have been trolling me for 20-odd years.
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I had to define "boner" for my mom when I was 13. My 13 year old brain searching for the biological term. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂
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My mother (RIP) did like to keep current on new lingo, but she was also a very devout and conservative woman. One time she asked me if I could tell her the definition of a word she’d heard. My wife texted me (so Mom wouldn’t hear) and said “She’s gonna ask what “queefing” means.” (1/2)
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(2/2) Fortunately for all involved, the word was “hashtag.”
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Postscript: Last year, after Mom had passed, Mom’s sister was visiting her brother and sister-in-law. (Mom was the oldest of three children.) She noticed the game Cards Against Humanity and wanted to play it. My cousin reports that she won. So maybe Mom would have known “queefing” after all.
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Well that is a heck of a story.
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I’m sure Eric Adams thinks of it as assigned cop at birth.
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Only way blue lives matters makes sense
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Look, I've known enough 5th generation Boston Irish cops in my life to not completely exclude the possibility of Assigned Cop At Birth.
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That terrible show with Tom Selleck is practically a documentary.
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My friend got her mom a little pocket-sized notebook and she adds new vocabulary in it for her mom to reference. 🤣
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I'm waiting for your response when she asks what AHAB means.
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the guy who hated moby dick, obv
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Assigned Harpooner At Birth Or All Harpooners Are Bastards
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I was actually referring to the ancient king that he's named after 😆
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Queequeg was Assigned Harpooner At Birth, yes
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During the Kavanaugh hearings, my mom asked me what a devil's triad was.
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“A drinking game, obviously… naw, I’m kidding, it’s a sex thing .”
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Thank you for the cackle of laughter i just let out 😂
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That’s the plot of “Blue Bloods” isn’t it?
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Just based upon my classmates that became law enforcement officers that works too
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ACAB is old school street slang. My best mate had ACAB tattooed in his lip in the early 90s and it was old then. Long before internet.
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คʂʂᎥɠຖҽԃ ᑕᏂɾᎥʂ৳ᎥαຖᎥ৳ყ ค৳ ᏰᎥɾ৳Ꮒ
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OMG. I'm dying laughing over here at the Assigned Cop At Birth.